What are all these clothes?

I have too much stuff. My inner nomadic soul is suffering from owning this much stuff. But I just love all of my stuff. I haven't figured out how to get rid of it all, but I just dream of owning little enough so that it wouldn't tie my down so much to where I'm living at the moment.

I'm doing my second load of washing today, but I don't understand where I am going to put it after it's clean. My laundry basket is so full I can't fit any more clothes in it. My wardrobe is full. My chest of drawers won't even close. I have a clothes horse up, covered in pyjamas I washed yesterday. And guess what? The cliché: "I have nothing to wear", quite often describes the thoughts that are going through my mind when I'm trying to get dressed.

This is where I lived and how I dried my laundry in first year.

Why is that? Do I really have nothing to wear or is everything I'd like to wear in that overflowing laundry basket? What is all that stuff that is making my wardrobe full? Do I ever wear them? How do I find out? Should I literally just wash everything and start taking notes of what I am actually wearing? How many clothes does a person like me actually need anyway? Do I want to become a person who wears the same clothes everyday? Am I already that person without realising and am just trying to hide that truth from myself by owning all of those other clothes? When was the last time I bought new clothes anyway? When was the last time I donated some clothes to charity?

Home sweet home and all of my lovely clothes. In 2008.

Okay, the last time I bought new clothes was last week. I bought two new vests from Primark because the ones I wear all the time are so worn I'm worried they will fall apart soon. And the other week I took a couple of jackets I never wear to a swap shop at uni. So I am trying. 

But maybe I should do more. Should I really start taking notes of what I like to wear? And create statistics? And renew my wardrobe so that it looks like a wardrobe that belongs to a 25 year-old (me). I'm worried there's a big "backlog" of my teenage years; clothes I am now keeping there just in case I decide not to do laundry for 6 months. Completely good clothes that I could definitely wear so that I wouldn't have to walk around naked.

Definitely not naked.

According to Jenna Marbles it's just embarrassing to keep wearing the same clothes all the time. I don't entirely follow that ideology but as a girl living in this society I am still probably affected by that. And also alarmingly I can recognise some similarities in my behaviour and this video:

My wardrobe is a lot smaller than hers though, you can see it in her "How Guys Get Dressed" -video. And I am planning to move house at some point in the not so distant future and I really need to get rid of a lot of it before that. I need to go through my sock drawer so that I could at least occasionally find matching socks. But I am sad to throw out all of those odd socks. But I honestly don't know what I could ever do with them. I am not a crafty person. And I don't like wearing matching socks anymore. I've done it. It was great, but sadly I have now moved on. I also need to get rid of my old clothes that I am saving as a backup. Perhaps, I should organise my clothes into categories when I take them down. Primary clothes and secondary clothes? And then I can donate all of those secondary clothes when it's time to move on with my life. That could potentially work.

Do you ever experience these problems? And how do you manage to throw out your old clothes?

Year 2014 - spring!

Happy new year, guys!

... Okay, I admit that my plan was to do this post last month. But better late than never, eh?

I did a similar post last year and found it really therapeutic to say goodbye to the year 2013. So I think it's worth it to review what happened in my life in 2014 as well. Maybe it will remind me of my mistakes so that I can learn from then? And more importantly I can see what I've achieved last year so that I can be proud of it. And maybe after this it will be easier to focus on this year and the future.

This has potential to be a bit long, so I'm going to do this in two parts.

So what happened in spring 2014?

January

I welcomed the year 2014 in a small Finnish town with my friends. We stood on a muddy field with sparklers. I had bought myself a fancy new camera with objectives and everything for a Christmas present and had great intentions to learn to use it. 

We sailed to Stockholm with my friends and had a great day out in rainy and wintery Stockholm. When Reseda and Anna would sail back to Finland, Mayumi and I were supposed to catch an evening flight to London. But of course there were problems. We had locked our suitcases, passports and plane tickets into a locker at the ferry terminal. But we hadn't realised to check what time the ferry terminal would close and of course the place was empty and the doors were locked when we returned there to collect our luggage just before our train would leave to the airport. Fortunately, we managed to catch the security guard before he went home. It was his first day! Thankfully, he was lovely and helped us to get back into the building to get our stuff, and we made it back to UK in one piece.

Before travelling back up to Scotland I spent a couple of days in my favourite city, Oxford. I visited J.R.R. Tolkien's grave and just wandered around the familiar streets and felt nostalgic.

When we got back to Aberdeen, Mayumi and I decided to compare whether differently priced Jaffa cakes actually tasted any different. They did. The medium priced were the best ones.

February

In February the sun started shining and Aberdeen didn't seem quite as miserable anymore. I decided that I needed to do something with my life and to start living again. I started yoga. I applied for jobs. I got contact lenses. I travelled to a job interview in Glasgow — and for the first time in my life it was successful job interview! My favourite shop, Lush, was campaigning for equal love. We also had a lovely candlelit Valentine's double date night. Also, our flatmate's Japanese boyfriend was visiting and we organised a road trip to visit some Scottish castles.

March

In March, Satu and I visited Manchester, bought some Lush bath bombs and may have ended up having a bath wearing our party dresses after a wee exploration trip to Canal Street. 

I also went to another job interview, got offered another job and started working in Aberdeen. And that's how the era of riding buses began.

April

In April, I had a lot of early mornings which involved getting up at 3am and running out of the door to catch a my bus to work. Those mornings were made a lot better by our neighbourhood bunnies who ran down the street with me. I really loved living there! Working was exciting but commuting for 3 hours everyday was tiring and I started drinking a lot of coffee.

I had a wee holiday too! I travelled to London to go to #rosweglyn -event, to meet "role models for the next generation of gay girls", also known as, "One venue, a handful of YouTubers and 600 screaming lesbians". I was quite excited to go to this thing! I got to meet Kaelyn and Lucy, who I had been following for a long time! And it certainly didn't make it less exciting that two other lesbian youtuber couples: Wegan (Megan and Whitney) and The Roses (Rose and Rosie) were going to be there too. Because Youtube has become sort of like my best friend, I obviously have been watching their videos too. Unfortunately,  Rose ended up in hospital that morning and wasn't able to be there.

May

This was fairly work-orientated month. I took photos of animals I met on my way to work each morning. It was dark, so I'm sure you understand that my phone wasn't able to produce high-quality photos. But I was so happy about meeting these animals! In May, I also finally got paid and celebrated that by buying a new hand bag and eating some fancy Japanese-style food. I also moved to a new flat, and then back to the old flat because the new one sucked. I also got myself a pool and sauna membership to the new aquatics centre. It was so good for me to dip into a pool after a long day of work and then to relax in the sauna. It made such a difference! And afterwards I liked to go to the pub to get a glass of cheap champagne.

June

I enjoyed summer in my favourite neighbourhood and admired our local Pictish standing stones. Then I received some bad news from Finland and travelled to see my poorly cat. Jonna happened to be hosting a breastfeeding celebration party so I travelled to her village to spend time with her and my goddaughter and some friends. We also got a chance to explore my hometown's dangerous nightlife... The same night, there was someone trying to get into a nightclub with a scythe. I don't know why my mum thinks the rest of the world is dangerous, when this sort of thing happens when I visit home.

So that was the first half. Here's the second half.

Do you enjoy looking back to see what you have done last year? I think I've seen some apps on Facebook that do that for you without you needing to dig through your photo albums like I did for this post. Oh, and if you have written similar posts yourself, feel free to link them to me!

No one needs 25 plates

Hello!

Guess what? I finally was able to leave the house that was my home! I tried moving out earlier but then just couldn't do it. But now I've moved to a lovely flat in the city centre and I feel at home here. I can give you a house tour once I've finally organised this place. So maybe in June?

Nostalgic candlelit shower time at the old place.

Here most rented flats come fully furnished and equipped with crockery, cleaning tools and lots of random things ― some useful, some really not. I've lived in an unfurnished flat before and therefore already have quite a lot of useful things such as kitchenware. Which means that I tend to just move all the pots, pans, plates, bowls, mugs and blenders into the storage cupboard so that they are not in my way. Most of them look like they are the landlord's old things that they just don't like to use at home. They remind me of kitchenware that you would normally find at a Finnish summer cottage. But as nice as it would be for someone who doesn't own those things themselves, I prefer to eat out of my rainbow bowl. I also own too many mugs already and I really don't need any more kitchen stuff in the cupboard. Otherwise I probably would never do the washing up.

I do respect the size of those wine glasses we were supplied though!

But of course when I moved out I had to put the plates and bowls back into the kitchen cupboard, and because I'm nice and well-behaved citizen I also washed them before I did so. I felt that the washing up would never end ― there were always more plates. Twenty-five in total. Who need that many plates at their home? I mean, it's great to have that many if you want to host a wedding or feed a whole army or something, but I didn't even have large enough cooking facilities for such gatherings.

Approximately half of those plates.

This move really helped me to down-size a little bit. I would still like to have less stuff though, but I managed to throw a lot of things out and to take a couple of bags of clothes to a charity shop. I also think that maybe I should take some of my books somewhere as well. For instance, I probably don't need to hold onto a French grammar book that I own. I never read it.

But washing all of those plates made me really grateful that I don't own that many. Although I was a bit shocked when I realised that I still do own 8 plates and 8 bowls. That's more than I thought! But it's a good amount, there's never too much washing up to do. There's 4 big plates and 4 small plates, 4 matching bowls, 2 mismatching bowls and 2 fancy Finnish Iittala Teema "designer" bowls that I took with me when I first moved to Scotland. Bowls are good for serving things in, and it's normal to have 4 people eating if you have a small dinner party.

What's your idea of a good number of plates and bowls? Do you have many fancy sets to suit every occasion? Or just enough for yourself and prefer to ask your guests to bring their own bowls if they come over for food?

We stayed.

Guess what?

We decided to stay here with the bunnies and all the happiness. It's far from some places, but sometimes far away is good. We have our own things that are close to us. There's a river, a 24-hour supermarket, fantastic foresty jogging route and a little park with a Pictish standing stone. This is our home.

It's been quite a busy week moving back and forth. I really recommend to everyone to move away or to pretend to move away if you ever feel unhappy. It really makes you appreciate your life at your current place more. Unless you actually feel happy about moving  – then you should probably just move.

But I've never been this happy before in the Bunnyland. I mean, I've been really happy living here, but I feel that I've never appreciated this place quite this much. We had some friends over for dinner on Friday, and we showed them around our house, our surroundings and even took them for a magical shopping trip to our local supermarket. It was lovely to see that they were as excited about this place as we are. They even said that they understand why we want to live this far from the university.

I'm also really excited about summer! I even managed to dry some laundry outside at the weekend. I've also been looking at garden furniture recently. It would be nice to sit and eat outside.

Laundry and dinner party weren't the only things that happened this weekend. We also went to a Moulin Rouge themed ball on Saturday. It was kind of a one-year-together celebration for us. And also a good excuse to dress up.

My home ♥

Hello!

I hope you're all doing amazing and enjoying the summer weather I've heard so much about. Apparently it's been about 30°C in Finland. It's about 9°C here and raining. That corresponds to my mood perfectly.

I've been sad recently.

We moved. I don't really feel at home at the new place. It smells funny and just doesn't feel right. It's bad. It was supposed to be everything we wanted. It's right next to university so it's perfect for Laura. And it's not even at the beach side that I dislike so much because I hate the monster seagulls and the stupid street where all the lorries drive like crazy. It's close to my bus stop so that I can get to work easily. It has a bath and our room is big enough to fit most of our stuff and our desks.

But I just don't like it and I don't know why. I miss my home. The old place. I'm there now. We still have it for a couple of weeks. This was my home. The best home I've ever had. All the bunnies and happiness are here. I'm not sure if there's anything at the new place.

But I guess while I'm weeping over the old place, I'd show you what it looks like.

Welcome to my home tour! This is the corridor. Front door on the left and the cupboard door on the right. It was a good place to hang jackets. The corridor also had the best mirror so that's where I put my make up on.

Laura wanted to have a bus ticker on the corridor wall. Instead of stealing one from our bus stop, she made one herself. She updates it sometimes with new features, the newest one being the weather. Check out a typical Scottish weather. First it's sunny, and soon it's pouring. You always have to be prepared for everything. But now I can actually know whether I need an umbrella immediately when I leave the house without needing to open the door. Or the curtains. 

I'll skip the bathroom this time, because I already showed it to you in candlelight.

This is our bedroom. You might think that you can't see all of it in this picture, but actually, this is pretty much all of it. There is a small wardrobe facing the bed, but you can see the other one on the left of the bed and the chest of drawers that you can almost open on the right. That's it, no more room for anything else but the bed. You can also see that I was feeling very interior designerish one day, and bought this bedsheets, and the matching cushion. I'm also starting to like London. One day I will tell you about all the things I have discovered I like about London.

This is our living room. It's where we do our living. It never looks this clean. Normally it's covered in laptops, sweetie wrappers and unopened letters.

This is where we watch TV. Except it's not a real TV. It's a computer screen, but we like to pretend that it's a TV. Sometimes we play Play Station games too. Also, we can never find those coasters underneath all the stuff we normally keep on the coffee table.

I also really like that shelf-thingie. I burn candles there although my safety causous mother told me not to. It's also a perfect place to keep my wine and champagne glasses. It makes me feel like a fancy sophisticated person.

Oh, and look at the kitchen!

We had a guest around once who said it was small. I never invited him over again. I don't find it small. And if I'm awake at day-time the window lets a lot of sunlight in, and it's fantastic. the cooker is very good and efficient and the washing machine works well, and there's even space for a small coffee maker. And you can fit three people in as long as all the people in there are happy to be in there. There's also a microwave and a bunny, but I already showed you them in my "decoration tips" post.

I'm really going to miss this place.

Bye bye, bunnies.  ♥

Trees and homes

Hi.

I've been doing nothing but looking for a new place to live closer to my bus route, so that I'll get more freetime and a shorter commuting time to work. Makes sense to spend my freetime worrying about that, right?

To keep myself away from the websites with flat ads, I decided to finally answer the 11 questions I was challenged to answer in Meriannen blog. I've done the full challenge before, so this time I will just answer the new questions. They were very good questions.

1. What book has meant a lot to you, and why?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It changed my life. I got it as a 10-year birthday present from my godmother, and it was the first Harry Potter book I ever read. It was the longest book I had ever read. I read the two previous books as well, and then waited for the next ones to get written and published. I grew up with Harry Potter, and I really do believe that my life would be completely different if I hadn't read those books. I might write a whole post about that one day when I'm brave enough to tell you the full story.

My bookself.

2. What makes a home home for you?

A home is a space where I can be myself. At home I don't have to be alone. There needs to be a sofa where I can sit down and watch Gilmore Girls and a kitchen where I can cook. At my current home, we have bunnies in the backyard and I will miss them if I end up moving somewhere where there aren't bunnies. They might not be necessary, as long as I still feel that I'm at home when I'm at home.

3. If you won in the lottery, how do you think the money would change your life?

I would probably worry less about affording things. I would be able to travel more and I would eat fancier food. My life would be more luxurious! And then I would buy houses and rent them out, so that I wouldn't have to work ever, and I could just do what I wanted to do without worrying about not having a job. It would be fantastic.

4. When you started blogging, what did you wish to achieve with your blog? Have your objectives changed since then?

When I moved to Scotland, I had a blog where I talked about my adventures here. That blog was directed to my friends in Finland. But then times changed and that blog got forgotten. 

In 2011, my flatmate moved into a caravan to look after baby ducks and started writing a blog how her water barrel is trying to grow a pet Rowan tree. I thought that it sounded cool, and wished I had something to blog about too. At the time though, I thought that nothing interesting was happening in my life. Moving to Scotland was old news and all I did was to hang around planning on my next backpacking holiday. But I thought that I'd start a blog anyway — maybe I could write about travelling sometimes. And offer valuable opinions on life. And so began my blog.

But things have changed. Of course they have. I've learned more about life and myself since 2011. Since the awful November 2012 I have tried to get back on my feet and to be happy again. During that time I've tried to use my blog as a therapy resource for myself. I had become really scared of the world and avoided speaking to people and telling them my thoughts. Raindeer Pants was a place where I could talk about things and express myself. It still is.

From Growingarowantree.blogspot.co.uk,

5. What is the best meal you can cook?

That's what Raindeer Fodder is for. Apparently so far only Spinach Pancakes. That'll do.

6. What's your dream holiday destination?

I'd love to go to Micronesia, Hawaii and New Zealand. I like my holidays far, far away.

7. Are you tidy or messy? Has it changed when you've got older?

I appear messy, but let me I assure you: I know where everything is.

8. Does your soul belong to a city or countryside?

I'm from Finland, and I miss the trees. I think as long as there are trees, it doesn't matter whether I'm in a city or in the countryside. I'll feel just as lost in treeless countryside as in a concrete, parkless city. But apart from the tree aspect I enjoy both. At the moment I prefer living in a city, but I have a feeling that when I start a family I'd like to live in a smaller town.

9. Who is your favourite actor? Why?

I really like Monni. She's awesome and inspiring. And I know a bunch of other inspiring actors too, but obviously if they don't have a blog I can't mention them here. I'm not sure if the aim of this question was to mention a Hollywood actor like Johnny Depp, but Johnny Depp doesn't really inspire me, even though I think that Jack Sparrow was the only reason Pirates of the Caribbean was so popular. He did a brilliant job with it.

But okay, if you're looking for film tips with this question, Laura and I have been watching films with Bill Nighy recently. He is a good actor.

I also really love the whole story line with Tess in Lip Service. Tess as a character is the kind of actor I can relate with. And Fiona Button is a good actor too. And very good looking. I really enjoyed watching Lip Service. They better do another season soon.

Lip Service (via Insidemediatrack.com).

10. What is the most important thing you've learned from your parents?

My dad taught me to always hold on with three sets of phalanges when climbing. I never fell down a tree.

11. Where do you hope to be in 20 years time?

At home! Where ever that will be. I hope I will be happy.

Lip Service (via Insidemediatrack.com).

Here, have another picture just to show you what I've been obsessed with recently. Also, the picture summarises actors, trees, flowers and homes. Everything I just wrote about! Perfect.

Feel free to answer the same questions in your blog if you want.

Even the fish keep swimming.

Hi!

Did you notice how silent it has been on my blog recently? There has of course been a good reason for it. 

I've started a new job. It has been very exciting. I'm so happy that I have a job now! But it has also been hard, and I've cried and I've been tired. During my work days, it's pretty much the only thing I do. I wake up, get ready, go to work, come home, eat and sleep.

I know, that for most of the living population it's normal to go to work and live a demanding life and never to have any freetime. But for a lot of people it's harder. I really hope that I will be successful in my new job, and don't end up quitting it because of stress or unhappiness or fatigue. So far in life I've learned that some things are just not worth it. Life is short, and if something is constantly making me unhappy, I'm not going to stick with it for any longer than necessary. I could always move to Thailand and start a beach cafe for tourists instead. Or to try something else.

No really, I am being serious! Once upon a time, I was going through a break-down thanks to uni stress and went travelling for a week. I then posted pictures of my trip on Facebook and got comments from an almost-stranger saying that I need to stop being so lazy and going travelling using my parents money, and instead I just need to get a job like everyone else. That person had no idea what I was going through. He didn't know that I didn't spend a penny of my parents money on my breathing break. He didn't know that I had sent hundreds of applications and not landed a job. And he didn't know how to be happy.

I want to learn how to be happy. I want to work somewhere where I enjoy working. I want to earn money and spend it on things that make me happy. I want to travel and see the world.  And I really hope that the job I have now will be one that I will enjoy.

We're also looking for a new flat closer to my work, and hopefully also closer to university, where Laura studies. At the moment it takes me 1½ hours to get to work, and I have to take two buses, which don't have a great on-time record. They've also occasionally just broken down, when I'm trying to go somewhere. So if we would find a good flat somewhere where I can just take one bus to work, I think I could live a lot more stress-free life.

I'm also dreaming of having a bath. That's probably the only thing I miss in our current flat. I love all the bunnies, central heating, living room, kitchen big enough to cook in, backyard, patio and shed... Maybe I'll do a post showing our current flat before we move out. And if we don't find a good flat at a good location, we will probably have to get a car.

How has your life been recently? Feeling the spring yet?

Decision made

Hey, want to hear what my plan is?

Okay, time's up.

Looks like I'll be staying in Scotland. I've chosen the safe and boring option of staying here. Better salary, no moving and no long-distance relationship.

Phone captured this moment: relaxing after a successful interview.

I'm slightly sad about my choice. It would have been just my style to pack my life into a bag, throw it into a raffle and see where I end up. But while I'm still trying to pull my life together, it's probably better that I have someone there to support me every day. Loneliness is not my thing. And a more stable salary will probably allow me to live a more stress-free life.

But what? I'm not going anywhere?!

I feel like I've been here for forever. I need to reactivate my Scotland enthusiasm.

A friend invited Laura and I for dinner in Edinburgh ages ago. We should set a date for that.

Edinburgh castle!

And now when I'm not moving away, Tiia can come and celebrate her birthday with us! I've celebrated several of my birthdays with her, but she's never celebrated any of hers with me.

Cruise-ship partying.

And Laura and I just recently bought Historic Scotland memberships which give as free entries to several cool places. I want to go to Jarlshof and see Shetland. And we can get into that Edinburgh castle. We've already been to see Fyvie castle and Duff House!

Fyvie castle.

I should also start dancing more. I love the fact that Scottish dancing exists. Here's some footage from Scottish Universities Scottish Country Dance Festival, in case you want to see me dance. And, you know, to see what Scottish country dancing is like. Watch it in HD!

It's also starting to look like spring out there! I emptied the contents of my winter handbag into my summer handbag last weekend and am hoping that I can stuff my winter jacket into my wardrobe soon.

Do you have any other suggestions on how to wake up my inner Scotland-enthusiast?

Decision time

Well hello there. How are you?

Things have happened. I went to Manchester. It was great. Then today I got offered two jobs. They are very different and I have to make a decision. I'm now sitting on a train somewhere between Manchester and Edinburgh thinking about my options.

Job A sounds very exciting, but means that I would have to move away. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but doesn't have a very good salary.

Job B probably has better salary and I wouldn't have to move. I would also get experience in the field I needed.

But the job I needed the experience for is basically job A. So now I need to decide whether I want to jump straight into it or whether I postpone it and take the other job. That job is not bad either, I've applied for it several times before.

Jumps to unknown are easier to do when it doesn't mean a long-distance relationship.

Any advice or words of wisdom?

Goodbye, 2013.

Hello!

I've read several blog posts were people have been looking back to last year. I'm a couple of weeks late with this, but I finally decided that I could do it as well. At first, I really didn't want to. But maybe it might be good for me? It could be therapeutic, and maybe I'd see that last year wasn't completely pointless. You can't get forward if you live in the past, but you also can't get forward if you ignore what's happened.

Would you like to hear what my last year was like?

January

I welcomed the year 2013 in London. Satu and I had gone to see the fireworks at Thames. I felt hopeful. We spent a few days eating cheap chicken burgers and buying expensive underwear. Then we went to Glasgow where obviously everything was closed because it takes so long for all the Scots to sober up after their Hogmanay celebrations. When the shops opened again we spent a day shopping cosmetics. Later that month I went on a little runaway holiday in Germany. By myself. I visited a friend in Cologne and went to see my host family in Rheinland-Pfalz area and spent a couple of days exploring Bremen by myself. I met interesting people, and visited Finland as well, because the flights were only 12 euros from Germany.

February

University term started again. I was trying to keep everything together with a part-time job that was taking way too much out of me, managing seminars and all the uniwork that I was already a bit behind with, a crumbling relationship, loneliness, and recurrent migraines. I realised that Skype is actually a very useful tool when you want to socialise with your friends when you can't be in the same place. I also ate lots of Lucky Charm cereals, although it was really expensive to buy them in UK. But they seemed to be the only happy thing in my life at the time. What else would you expect from the gayest cereal there is?

March

I had serious social anxiety problems, migraines and was running out of energy and managing everything was becoming more difficult. I watched a lot of Youtube videos, practised wearing make-up, and spent a lot of money on cosmetics. I was mentally very close to reaching a breaking point, but still managed to make it to a few social events, like the Gaylidh - my university's LGBT society's annual ball. I also signed the petition for equal marriage in Finland.

April

The month started with a break up. Then there was a field tip I had been dreading for a half a year. I really wasn't looking forward to it, but it didn't end up being as scary and awful as I had feared. The month went on and I started enjoying my life as a single. My friend Tom came to visit and we did a lot of touristy things that I hadn't had the energy to do alone. We visited Glasgow, went to a football game, ceilidhed, ate pub food and drank beer.

May

I flew to Finland to throw some rice in a family wedding, celebrate Vappu with my friend Tiia and met Laura again after several years. I flew back to Scotland, wrote some essays, gave a speech in a conference and went camping. I started to find reasons to be happy again, and began to build up my confidence. Laura came to visit me in Scotland and I drove 15 people to a dance with a minibus.

June

I quit my job and phoned my mum to tell her that I had a girlfriend. Laura and I went to Pride Scotia in Edinburgh. I listened to a lot of Mindy Gledhill. I participated a Gothic themed pub crawl. I was also working on my dissertation, rolling in soil and practising augering.

July

I went to North Rona, which is definitely one of the most incredible places I've ever visited. I also realised how burned out I was and started a sick leave which finally gave me the chance to start stitching my mental health together and finding out what's up with those migraines. It's a long journey, but that's when it began. I showed Laura more of Scotland, enjoyed summer and when Tiia came to Aberdeen, we celebrated our friendship by drinking champagne and buying pretty dresses.

August

I spent to whole month - more or less actively, looking for a new place to live. I also went for a holiday in Finland, where I got to spend some quality time with my best friends. I also visited Tallinn and Copenhagen for the first time. Satu and her brother visited Scotland and we did some sightseeing with them. 

September

I returned to university to carry on my research.  Laura and I moved in together. The move allowed me to start feeling mentally better and to change GPs. I tried to get an appointment so that I could finally get referred to a specialist, but there were long queues. Kata returned to Scotland and became our flatmate. The three of us had a civil war against the bugs living in our house. Laura started university.

October

I got new glasses, started learning Japanese, and bought myself a swimming pool membership. Lots of swimming, sushi and Japanese television. Even my laptop turned Japanese. That's all I did this month besides sleeping. I had the worst medication ever which meant that during two weeks I was only awake for maybe 28 hours. Then I stopped taking it.

November

Our flatmate Kata went to Africa and Laura and I sat at home in the dark. I burned lots of candles. I finally got blood tests done, and the results were abnormal enough to get a referral to a specialist. It was great, but I was feeling so ill and was worried that my brain might leak out. I turned to some natural remedies while I was in the 3-month long queue to see the specialist. It snowed and we decorated our house Christmassy.

December

I had a birthday, danced a little bit and burned candles. It was cold, so Laura and I bought pink onesies and hanged around the house looking cool. Then it was time to fly to Finland to spend Christmas there. The person in charge of the weather hadn't got my memo about snow, so there was no snow the whole time I was in Finland, but there were friends, family, warmth, food and a cat.

It's been quite a year. I'm not sure if I've now told a bit too much, but perhaps it's something I have to do in order to say bye bye to 2013. Were you surprised to hear something? Have you said bye bye to your 2013 yet? 

Now lets carry on with 2014. This year we have 340 days left to change our lives.