Year 2014 - autumn!

Hi!

So now it's time for the second part of this 2014 reminiscing thing I thought I'd do. In case you missed the first half, here's months January - June.

...So what happened in the autumn 2014?

July

July started with a trip to the vet. My cat died, and we buried him. I was very sad. I also spent a lot of time with my family members and best friends while I was still in Finland. I went to see my brother's first own flat, went strawberry picking with my sister and went to the Moominland with my best friends and goddaughter. Soon it was time to get back home to Scotland, but the weather was actually really lovely and warm so I got to go to the beach a couple of times before that! After that the rest of the month was just routine: working either early mornings or afternoons and getting home really late. 

These picture collages actually make my time in Finland look really long. It was actually less than two weeks, but it just happened to be the end of June and beginning of July and the most significant thing that happened to me in the summer.

August

August was actually pretty cool. I discovered my new favourite beer: Tsingtao 青島啤酒廠, a Chinese beer. There was also Aurora International Festival 2014 : a group of French folk dancers travelled from Toulouse to Aberdeen by bus (!) to perform their dances and to experience the Scottish culture. I went to a couple of their events and had a great time - they were such lovely people!

But the best thing in August was Manchester Pride Festival. It was such an amazing and well organised event! They had so many things going on and the whole Manchester Gay Village was accessible only with the festival wristband (which was really cheap considering all the events included in it!) which made it feel really safe as well. During a regular weekend, Manchester is fantastic compared to Aberdeen. Instead of one gay bar you get a whole street full of them plus a couple of extras but during the Pride Weekend it was just incredible! I spoke to one straight girl who had come to the festival just because she thought it would be a great event and she was so excited she said she would come back next year too. (So that's this year! Who wants to come with me?!) It was like one of these big all-weekend music festivals that I've been to before in my life but with all sorts of amazing extras. And really good performers. I'm so excited I saw Heather Peace, Foxes and Conchita Wurst. From front row. ... Aaahhh!  

Also, I sent my mum a postcard from Pride. That's something I thought I'd never do. Last time I went to a Pride Festival I had to lie to her and claim that I went somewhere else.

September

Carrying on with this theme of each months highlight being a trip somewhere: September was about Crete. I had never been to a beach holiday before. I had actually never travelled anywhere where it would be sunny or warm. My previous holiday destinations have ranged between Alaskan tundra, an uninhabited island in the middle of the North Sea, Germany in the winter etc. So I guess you can imagine my excitement? And perhaps understand that only 5% of the clothes I packed were actually even suitable for such weather conditions. It was so hot. What is that madness of not needing a jacket? Even in the evening? Mediterranean was such a beautiful and lovely place. I smothered myself with sun screen and enjoyed the sun and a few great cocktails. I was so pleased with the expensive sandals I had bought for this trip. I didn't want to wear anything else during this trip.

That trip was just so much more amazing than the new green coke – Coca-Cola Life –  that has 37% less white sugar because it has been replaced by Stevia sugar. But it was probably the most exciting thing in my life to happen in September besides the holiday. I mean, green coke. What is that?

October

October was wet. Very wet. And I was getting a bit tired. I went swimming, but it was pretty much the only excitement in my life. I felt a bit lonely as well. I was working only evenings anymore which I didn't really like – I preferred to have a mixture of late and early shifts. I wasn't really happy with how things were in my life. I started applying for new jobs and funding to go back to uni.

November

In November I got early shifts again and got to run to work with the bunnies before dawn! It made me feel so much better. I was also feeling really Christmassy since at work there had been all sorts of Christmas stuff going on for over a month already. So I put our Christmas tree up mid-November and listened to a lot of Christmas music. I also attended my work's Christmas party which was quite an experience... Before that I, however, had a sophisticated day trip to Fraserburgh's Lighthouse Museum which I would like to visit again, because we didn't actually have enough time to go and see the actual lighthouse.

Finland's government passed the equal marriage law which was a good reason for a wee celebration and some bubbly wine! It went well with some fajitas and a good lesbian movie Better Than Chocolate. 

I also had another successful job interview! I decided not to take it though because I also got money to go back to university.

December

December was fabulous. I quit my job and flew to Finland where I spent the first three days sweating and having problems breathing because the houses were so warm and the air was so very dry. And then there was snow! And my brother had a new kitten! And I went on a Turku-Stockholm party cruise twice! And there was Christmas and I loved all the lovely Christmas trees and all the yummy food!

I also turned 25 in December which is a bit scary because it's a quarter of a century which makes me sound really old. Like should I be sensible and know what I'm doing in life? I know nothing. But it's OK. I had a small birthday outing on my actual birthday but it ended up being like a double date in a table reserved for 10 people in a restaurant. It was a bit embarrassing, but at least the most important people were there. So much for those friends who didn't show up. But Tiia offered me a birthday dinner in a fancy restaurant when I arrived in Finland and afterwards we went to see Turku Christmas market!

I also liked that silly white T-shirt. I took that picture when I first saw it before Christmas and bought it later in January sales. Now I can wear it and be creepy.

The end. 

Okay, life goes on, and 2015 looks fairly promising!

Year 2014 - spring!

Happy new year, guys!

... Okay, I admit that my plan was to do this post last month. But better late than never, eh?

I did a similar post last year and found it really therapeutic to say goodbye to the year 2013. So I think it's worth it to review what happened in my life in 2014 as well. Maybe it will remind me of my mistakes so that I can learn from then? And more importantly I can see what I've achieved last year so that I can be proud of it. And maybe after this it will be easier to focus on this year and the future.

This has potential to be a bit long, so I'm going to do this in two parts.

So what happened in spring 2014?

January

I welcomed the year 2014 in a small Finnish town with my friends. We stood on a muddy field with sparklers. I had bought myself a fancy new camera with objectives and everything for a Christmas present and had great intentions to learn to use it. 

We sailed to Stockholm with my friends and had a great day out in rainy and wintery Stockholm. When Reseda and Anna would sail back to Finland, Mayumi and I were supposed to catch an evening flight to London. But of course there were problems. We had locked our suitcases, passports and plane tickets into a locker at the ferry terminal. But we hadn't realised to check what time the ferry terminal would close and of course the place was empty and the doors were locked when we returned there to collect our luggage just before our train would leave to the airport. Fortunately, we managed to catch the security guard before he went home. It was his first day! Thankfully, he was lovely and helped us to get back into the building to get our stuff, and we made it back to UK in one piece.

Before travelling back up to Scotland I spent a couple of days in my favourite city, Oxford. I visited J.R.R. Tolkien's grave and just wandered around the familiar streets and felt nostalgic.

When we got back to Aberdeen, Mayumi and I decided to compare whether differently priced Jaffa cakes actually tasted any different. They did. The medium priced were the best ones.

February

In February the sun started shining and Aberdeen didn't seem quite as miserable anymore. I decided that I needed to do something with my life and to start living again. I started yoga. I applied for jobs. I got contact lenses. I travelled to a job interview in Glasgow — and for the first time in my life it was successful job interview! My favourite shop, Lush, was campaigning for equal love. We also had a lovely candlelit Valentine's double date night. Also, our flatmate's Japanese boyfriend was visiting and we organised a road trip to visit some Scottish castles.

March

In March, Satu and I visited Manchester, bought some Lush bath bombs and may have ended up having a bath wearing our party dresses after a wee exploration trip to Canal Street. 

I also went to another job interview, got offered another job and started working in Aberdeen. And that's how the era of riding buses began.

April

In April, I had a lot of early mornings which involved getting up at 3am and running out of the door to catch a my bus to work. Those mornings were made a lot better by our neighbourhood bunnies who ran down the street with me. I really loved living there! Working was exciting but commuting for 3 hours everyday was tiring and I started drinking a lot of coffee.

I had a wee holiday too! I travelled to London to go to #rosweglyn -event, to meet "role models for the next generation of gay girls", also known as, "One venue, a handful of YouTubers and 600 screaming lesbians". I was quite excited to go to this thing! I got to meet Kaelyn and Lucy, who I had been following for a long time! And it certainly didn't make it less exciting that two other lesbian youtuber couples: Wegan (Megan and Whitney) and The Roses (Rose and Rosie) were going to be there too. Because Youtube has become sort of like my best friend, I obviously have been watching their videos too. Unfortunately,  Rose ended up in hospital that morning and wasn't able to be there.

May

This was fairly work-orientated month. I took photos of animals I met on my way to work each morning. It was dark, so I'm sure you understand that my phone wasn't able to produce high-quality photos. But I was so happy about meeting these animals! In May, I also finally got paid and celebrated that by buying a new hand bag and eating some fancy Japanese-style food. I also moved to a new flat, and then back to the old flat because the new one sucked. I also got myself a pool and sauna membership to the new aquatics centre. It was so good for me to dip into a pool after a long day of work and then to relax in the sauna. It made such a difference! And afterwards I liked to go to the pub to get a glass of cheap champagne.

June

I enjoyed summer in my favourite neighbourhood and admired our local Pictish standing stones. Then I received some bad news from Finland and travelled to see my poorly cat. Jonna happened to be hosting a breastfeeding celebration party so I travelled to her village to spend time with her and my goddaughter and some friends. We also got a chance to explore my hometown's dangerous nightlife... The same night, there was someone trying to get into a nightclub with a scythe. I don't know why my mum thinks the rest of the world is dangerous, when this sort of thing happens when I visit home.

So that was the first half. Here's the second half.

Do you enjoy looking back to see what you have done last year? I think I've seen some apps on Facebook that do that for you without you needing to dig through your photo albums like I did for this post. Oh, and if you have written similar posts yourself, feel free to link them to me!

My favourite cosmetic brands

Hi.

I was going to write this post before I got completely stressed out by consumerism and plastic and all that unnecessary waste that just ends up in landfills. But because it's almost Christmas and cosmetics have been my favourite thing for 2 years now, I thought I'd write this post anyway.

When I was really lonely and depressed I cheered up my life by going shopping for some cosmetics. I bought so many cream, lotions and make-up products. Trying them out really made me a lot happier and boosted my self-confidence!

Earlier this year, Brand Spark International listed the most trusted cosmetic brands in Canada, USA, China, Turkey and Mexico that were ranked by consumers. You can check all of them by following the link. I originally got the idea for this post from a Finnish cosmetics blog Ostolakossa where the blog's author Virve Vee compared the popularity of different brands in different countries and also told her own favourites. 

So today I'm going to tell me what my favourite cosmetic brands have been past these 2 years! With some thoughts on how I'm feeling about the future with them. If this isn't something you're interested in, feel free to skip this post.

For example, these are the winning brands in China:

Face cream:  Olay

Eye cream: Estée Lauder

Make-up foundation: Maybelline

Facial wash: L'oreal and Nivea

Shaving products: Gillette

Nail varnish: OPI

Body wash: Dove

Shampoo & Conditioner: Pantene

Hair styling: Vidal Sassoon

Toothpaste: Darlie

And these are the winners in Turkey:

Facial skincare: L'oreal and Nivea

Make-up foundation: L'oreal and Max Factor (Covergirl)

Facial wash: Neutrogena and Nivea

Lipstick: Avon

Mascara: L'oreal and Max Factor (Covergirl)

Deodorant/Antiperspirant: Nivea

Shaving products: Gillette

Body lotion: Nivea

Body wash: Palmoline

Shampoo & Conditioner: Elidor and Head&Shoulders

Hair styling: Hobby

Toothpaste: Ipana ja Colgate

Feel free to check out the other ones too, I'm sure they are all well known and popular brands.

I actually recently realised that many of the popular brands are owned by gigantic companies.

Have you ever heard of Unilever?

Maybe I'm just naïve but I was really shocked when I realised that so many brands are owned by this massive company. Unilever owns more than 400 brands!

Out of the brands listed earlier more are owned by them by not.

They own Lynx (Axe), Dove, Flora (Becel), Knorr, Lipton, Omo, Sure (Rexona), Surf and Sunsilk (Elidor), Ben & Jerry's, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, Pot Noodle, Turun Sinappi, Simple, Pepsodent (Signal), TIGI, TRESemmé and many others!

And of course such a big company has a lot of money to put on marketing and buying self-space in order to make sure that the naïve consumers can easily see these products when they go shopping.

But anyway, back to the point of this post and my own list! Because of course you all really want to know what cosmetics I use (almost) daily.

Face cream:  Boots Botanics. Especially the 81% organic hydrating cream.

Eye cream: Lumene.

Make-up foundation: Skin79. I have now discovered Asian BB creams and don't want to mess with Western foundations anymore.

Facial wash: Lush.

Lipstick: Lush.

Mascara: Physician's Formula Organic Wear.

Deodorant/Antiperspirant: Lumene. But then I experienced an aluminium crisis and started making my own.

Shaving products: Gillette. Although I'm not sure how to feel about this ecologically or socially.

Body lotion: Soap & Glory.

Nail varnish: Lumene Natural Code.

Body wash: Lumene Angry Birds. I got obsessed with this one after I tried it at my friend's house.

Shampoo & Conditioner: Lush. I'm increasingly more and more obsessed with Lush, have you noticed?

Hair styling: Batiste. Dry shampoo is all I use at the moment. I've considered replacing it with just talcum powder though.

Toothpaste: Sarakan. I've had enough of fluoride.

I actually used to use a different toothpaste, but then I read about the dangers of fluoride and felt that I have been poisoning myself enough with it, and decided to switch to a more natural alternative and hope for the best. Then last week I bought a bamboo toothbrush and it works really well! I actually feel that my teeth are cleaner than they were when I used a plastic toothbrush.

I am a bit sad that many of these products contain so much unrecyclable plastic. I always use a Gilette razor where you only have to change the blade bit instead of needing to get a whole new razor! I wish everyone would do the same. Yes, they are a little bit more expensive, but they are also so much better than those awful ones you can buy in bulk. So much plastic ends up in landfill from them and you only use them a couple of times! If you need to shave, please buy a proper razor.

Lush is a fantastic company that makes bath and beauty products with environmental values in their mind. Their products are amazing and I am considering trying more of their products in the future. For instance, they have a mascara that comes in a glass bottle and it probably would be better for the environment if I used that one instead of ordering the one I currently use from America.

Also, in the field of soap and body lotion, I'm considering challenging myself and trying to make some of my own next year. It can't be that difficult, can it?

So, what are your favourite cosmetics? What sort of aspects do you think about when choosing these products?

You don't have to have a favourite to all categories but you can just copy-paste this template to comments and let me know! I'm a bit weird, but I'd love to hear what products you guys use! Oh, and this is a completely unisex questionnaire. Everyone is allowed to answer.

Face cream: 
Eye cream: 
Make-up foundation:
Facial wash: 
Lipstick:
Mascara: 
Deodorant/Antiperspirant:
Shaving products: 
Body lotion: 
Nail varnish:
Body wash: 
Shampoo & Conditioner: 
Hair styling: 
Toothpaste: 

Disgusting plastic

Wow,

I don't know what's happened to me but this Lyra is becoming an eco-Lyra. 

Maybe I've been working in a shop for too long and seen how much rubbish we produce and how many unnecessary things we try to sell to consumers. Or maybe I'm just getting increasingly disgusted with plastic. This plastic-disgust-thing has been going on for a few years now and I've tried to replace all of my plastic kitchen tools with silicone. It hasn't really happened yet apart from my spatula, stirring spoon and rolling pin though. I'm skint and always have been.

You maybe read in my last blog post that I was going to order a bamboo toothbrush. Well, I did order it and can't wait for it to arrive. Apparently toothbrushes are a really big waste problem and can't be recycled and last in landfills for about a 1,000 years. I haven't researched this info, but in my plastic-disgust I believe it to be true enough to invest in an beautiful wooden toothbrush.

The picture will take you to their online store.

It wasn't even a big investment, because many plastic toothbrushes are even more expensive than these ones, and hopefully my teeth will appreciate this. My student budget has normally encouraged me to buy a £1 pack of 5 toothbrushes, but I guess it's okay to feel like I'm saving the planet while brushing my teeth.

Scotland also recently passed a law where all the shops have to charge 5p for every plastic bag and give that money to charity. I can't believe how many people have moaned about that law. They say that the plastic bags are not worth the money and that it's ridiculous to make people to save the plastic bags and that it will just allow stores to charge more for things. I think they are missing the point. I feel that it will encourage the stores to give more money to charity and to make people think about the environment by bringing their own reusable bags. The shop where I work is actually exempt from this law, so we don't charge for the bags but I can see the difference in my customers. So many people say 'no, thanks' when I ask them if they need a bag and they happily pack their purchases in their backpack or reusable shopping bag. It makes me so happy! Most of the time those plastic bags are so unnecessary, you only use it for a number of minutes and then you throw it in the bin.

Picture from Zero Waste Europe -website. Click to visit!

I prefer to carry my shopping home in a canvas bag anyway, because they fit my body better and are easier to carry. Maybe stronger people haven't had this problem, but I really appreciate my own bags. Of course people with cars don't have to carry their shopping very far anyway, so for them it's maybe even better that there is that 5p encouragement fee. Have you guys noticed a change in your behaviour after this fee was introduced?



I'm basically still discovering how I could reduce my ecological footprint. All of this is very new to me. I'll try and keep you posted about my experiences. 
I tried to make my own deodorant today. I'll tell you know how this experiment went once I have evaluated my smelliness levels.

P.S. My birthday and Christmas are approaching and if you're one of those few people who tend to buy me presents, here's some ideas for you! Maybe try and avoid small plastic things or synthetic sponges and stuff like that. These days I'm more into homemade things and "natural products".

For instance, Life Without Plastic -Website has many cool things that I wish I had. I mean, I don't want anyone to order this stuff from America, but please feel free to be inspired by these things!

Maybe I'm making it too difficult

Hello world,

It's been difficult to write. Mostly because I feel that I have too many thoughts and opinions and I'm not confident enough about them to post them here for the world to criticise about. But maybe I could take it as a learning exercise and we could learn from each other? This is not an educational platform where I am supposed to say how something should be done. This is supposed to be a place where I learn to share my opinions and thoughts.

So, what sort of thoughts have I had recently then?

At the moment I'm feeling a bit distressed about the consumer society we live in. The fact that I currently work in an industry which is highly dependant on people buying stuff isn't helping. It got worse after I read this article about how a 23-year New Yorker, Lauren Singer, has been living a "trash-free" life for 2 years.

Lauren Singer. Picture takes you to her blog.

Blogging about this is very scary because I'm not supposed to say anything about my work and because it seems to be a cool trend in blogs to show of new items that people have bought. I was going to write some shopping related posts about my favourite brands, but now I'm so stressed out of all the stuff and trash. I still have a month before I need to make any New Years resolutions, so maybe I really need to think about this.

In the meantime, let me tell you a story.

I went swimming again. This appears to be a reoccuring theme in my blog, but I'm okay with it. I went there straight from work and I had to buy some wash stuff because I had only taken a towel and a swimming costume with me in the morning.

I bought this:

It's colour-free and perfume-free. I wish it was also paraben-free, but apparently you can't get everything. I spent half an hour choosing this, so in the end I decided to go for this one instead of this Sanex one. It had so few ingredients that I decided to choose the Simple one because it had cucumber extract and citric acid. Do you people ever read the ingredients lists of the products you buy?

This turned out to be a decent buy for the £2 I spent on it. I didn't only wash my body with it, I also washed my make-up off with it — including my mascara! I don't understand people who go swimming without washing their make-up off first. It will end up in the pool? Some people also apparently put conditioner on their hair before they get into the pool. Why do they think it's okay? But anyway, this shower gel was okay on my face and it got my make-up of so I used it for washing my hair also. My hair got clean and I no longer understand why someone would need to buy normal shampoos. I actually compared the INCI of this shower gel to some basic shampoos and it looked the same. It seems to be just advertising so that people would buy more products.

My scalp is dry though and can't really even tolerate normal shampoos so I sprayed it with my scalp moisturising mixture that I used after my last traumatising trip to a hairdressers when they washed my hair 3-times with some awful hair dresser shampoos that made my scalp very itchy. I'm not sure what I put in the mixture anymore but judging it by it's scent: apparently a lot of cider vinegar. It helped.

Normally I wash my hair with either a shampoo bar or a budget solution: olive soap!

It's good for my hair and there's no need for conditioner. It's also cheap and "trash-free".

Now please excuse me, while I go and buy myself a bamboo toothbrush.

Even the fish keep swimming.

Hi!

Did you notice how silent it has been on my blog recently? There has of course been a good reason for it. 

I've started a new job. It has been very exciting. I'm so happy that I have a job now! But it has also been hard, and I've cried and I've been tired. During my work days, it's pretty much the only thing I do. I wake up, get ready, go to work, come home, eat and sleep.

I know, that for most of the living population it's normal to go to work and live a demanding life and never to have any freetime. But for a lot of people it's harder. I really hope that I will be successful in my new job, and don't end up quitting it because of stress or unhappiness or fatigue. So far in life I've learned that some things are just not worth it. Life is short, and if something is constantly making me unhappy, I'm not going to stick with it for any longer than necessary. I could always move to Thailand and start a beach cafe for tourists instead. Or to try something else.

No really, I am being serious! Once upon a time, I was going through a break-down thanks to uni stress and went travelling for a week. I then posted pictures of my trip on Facebook and got comments from an almost-stranger saying that I need to stop being so lazy and going travelling using my parents money, and instead I just need to get a job like everyone else. That person had no idea what I was going through. He didn't know that I didn't spend a penny of my parents money on my breathing break. He didn't know that I had sent hundreds of applications and not landed a job. And he didn't know how to be happy.

I want to learn how to be happy. I want to work somewhere where I enjoy working. I want to earn money and spend it on things that make me happy. I want to travel and see the world.  And I really hope that the job I have now will be one that I will enjoy.

We're also looking for a new flat closer to my work, and hopefully also closer to university, where Laura studies. At the moment it takes me 1½ hours to get to work, and I have to take two buses, which don't have a great on-time record. They've also occasionally just broken down, when I'm trying to go somewhere. So if we would find a good flat somewhere where I can just take one bus to work, I think I could live a lot more stress-free life.

I'm also dreaming of having a bath. That's probably the only thing I miss in our current flat. I love all the bunnies, central heating, living room, kitchen big enough to cook in, backyard, patio and shed... Maybe I'll do a post showing our current flat before we move out. And if we don't find a good flat at a good location, we will probably have to get a car.

How has your life been recently? Feeling the spring yet?

I'm a traveller.

Hello!

Remember my "...andthatswhoiam" -posts? They can be found under the tag being myself. I used them as a method of therapy, because I struggled with situations when I had to introduce myself or tell someone about myself. It clearly helped because I actually went to a job interview last Friday!

But I haven't actually shown you all the pictures that I chose from that website last autumn! So now I'm going to tell you a little bit more about myself.

I love travelling. I want to see everything. I feel like the best thing to spend your money on is to travel and see all the different places and meet people who come from different backgrounds than you do. It will widen your views and help you grow as a person. You will get memories that you'll never forget. It will help you become less materialistic and you'll start to appreciate your experiences more.

Travelling has probably always been my favourite thing to do. I'm from a small town, but it does have a travel agency. I used to go there and carry a copy of all of their brochures home. I loved looking at all the pictures and dreaming of all the places I could go to.  Unfortunately, my mum's idea of travelling was to catch a ferry to Sweden, and to stay on it and head back home straight away, without even setting a foot on the ground. Once I was old enough to travel, I cached one of those ferries and went to see what Sweden really looked like.

I'm the exploring kind of traveller. I find it hard to just do what the tourist guide book tells me. I want to find out things myself. I might go to the tourist information to get a map, in case I get lost (which unsurprisingly happens quite a lot), but my favourite activity is to just wander around aimlessly in a new city. I've never been on a beach holiday, because I think I'd find it difficult to just lie there getting burned, when I could be exploring all the suspicious side alleys and getting to know some interesting local people.

Did I ever mention that I'm a big Doctor Who fan? How many TARDIS-themed things have you noticed on my blog? The whole concepts of being able to travel through space and time really fascinates me. There must be more out there. And there is a reason why I ended up with a degree in Archaeology. But I'm stuck in this time and our planet. Which really isn't that bad after all. Exciting things are happening in our time, with all the digitalisation and equality movements. Scary and awful things are happening too, and there are many places I don't even want to travel to at the moment thanks to their political situation. But there's still at least half a planet left which I could and would like to explore.

I strongly believe that understanding the language of the place you travel to helps you get more out of the trip. The more you understand the language the more you understand the culture. And vice versa. Travelling is also the key to learning languages. When you need to find a Burger King in Spain, you suddenly can understand those instructions in Spanish. Or at least I found my way to the Burger King. I also learned to pronounce it the Spanish way.

I've never been to Asia, but I've got really interested in Japanese, Korean and Chinese cultures recently. I thought that Japanese might be the easiest Asian language for me to learn first, so now I've started planning a trip to Japan. It will happen once I feel that I've learned enough Japanese to get the most out of that trip!

I have a funny feeling that the only reason why I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit films is the fact that they are shot in New Zealand. That's one place I would really love to travel to. Originally, I wanted to spend an exchange year there, but it never happened. It's the furthest place on Earth I could travel to, which probably makes it even more exciting.

I have lived in a couple of different countries. I've lived in England and Germany for a month, and in Finland and Scotland for years. All of those countries have a place that feels like a home to me. Sometimes I meet people in Scotland who hear that I'm a foreigner and ask me "so where's home?" They think it's a cunning way to phrase the question: "where are you from?", but I always find it a little bit insulting. Do they mean I'm not welcome here, and want me to go back where I came from? I don't want to go back. I want to find a place I belong. The question is also difficult, because I find Scotland to be my home just as much as Finland is. I'm from Finland but I live here now. And I'm not sure where I want to move next. 

But okay, my home is in Europe. For now at least.

Finnish people don't make friends easily, which is kind of a problem. I have, however, met amazing people from all over the world. I wish I'd find it more natural to open up to people and actually make life-long friends and to stay in touch more.

I've always thought that the best cure for depression is to go travelling. I've never felt sad or depressed while travelling. Everything in this world is just too amazing, to feel depressed. Depression is like being stuck. If you don't realise that you're free to go and do anything, you will feel depressed. If you ever feel suicidal, just sell everything you own and use that money to go travelling. As far as possible, and you might find the reason to live again.

I love learning to get to know this planet. I want to explore my options before I decide where I want to settle down to. I feel that there's no point feeling miserable with my life, if I don't want to go and see how people live elsewhere. Maybe there's a place that is more suitable for me than the place where I'm now? And if not, there's nothing better than that feeling of coming back home.

P.S. Here's a map of the places I've conquered so far.

It's fairly Western Europe centred so far, but I'm working on it.

I pinned these places on the TripAdvisor app on Facebook. And then I mangled it a little bit on Paint, because I hate the way Google Maps stretch the North. Unfortunately this app doesn't have all the places I've been to. I'm especially sad that North Rona is missing. But according to this app, I've visited 17 countries, which is 13% of the world. That sounds like a good start!

I honestly, don't know where I'm going next. But I like to keep my options open.

Goodbye, 2013.

Hello!

I've read several blog posts were people have been looking back to last year. I'm a couple of weeks late with this, but I finally decided that I could do it as well. At first, I really didn't want to. But maybe it might be good for me? It could be therapeutic, and maybe I'd see that last year wasn't completely pointless. You can't get forward if you live in the past, but you also can't get forward if you ignore what's happened.

Would you like to hear what my last year was like?

January

I welcomed the year 2013 in London. Satu and I had gone to see the fireworks at Thames. I felt hopeful. We spent a few days eating cheap chicken burgers and buying expensive underwear. Then we went to Glasgow where obviously everything was closed because it takes so long for all the Scots to sober up after their Hogmanay celebrations. When the shops opened again we spent a day shopping cosmetics. Later that month I went on a little runaway holiday in Germany. By myself. I visited a friend in Cologne and went to see my host family in Rheinland-Pfalz area and spent a couple of days exploring Bremen by myself. I met interesting people, and visited Finland as well, because the flights were only 12 euros from Germany.

February

University term started again. I was trying to keep everything together with a part-time job that was taking way too much out of me, managing seminars and all the uniwork that I was already a bit behind with, a crumbling relationship, loneliness, and recurrent migraines. I realised that Skype is actually a very useful tool when you want to socialise with your friends when you can't be in the same place. I also ate lots of Lucky Charm cereals, although it was really expensive to buy them in UK. But they seemed to be the only happy thing in my life at the time. What else would you expect from the gayest cereal there is?

March

I had serious social anxiety problems, migraines and was running out of energy and managing everything was becoming more difficult. I watched a lot of Youtube videos, practised wearing make-up, and spent a lot of money on cosmetics. I was mentally very close to reaching a breaking point, but still managed to make it to a few social events, like the Gaylidh - my university's LGBT society's annual ball. I also signed the petition for equal marriage in Finland.

April

The month started with a break up. Then there was a field tip I had been dreading for a half a year. I really wasn't looking forward to it, but it didn't end up being as scary and awful as I had feared. The month went on and I started enjoying my life as a single. My friend Tom came to visit and we did a lot of touristy things that I hadn't had the energy to do alone. We visited Glasgow, went to a football game, ceilidhed, ate pub food and drank beer.

May

I flew to Finland to throw some rice in a family wedding, celebrate Vappu with my friend Tiia and met Laura again after several years. I flew back to Scotland, wrote some essays, gave a speech in a conference and went camping. I started to find reasons to be happy again, and began to build up my confidence. Laura came to visit me in Scotland and I drove 15 people to a dance with a minibus.

June

I quit my job and phoned my mum to tell her that I had a girlfriend. Laura and I went to Pride Scotia in Edinburgh. I listened to a lot of Mindy Gledhill. I participated a Gothic themed pub crawl. I was also working on my dissertation, rolling in soil and practising augering.

July

I went to North Rona, which is definitely one of the most incredible places I've ever visited. I also realised how burned out I was and started a sick leave which finally gave me the chance to start stitching my mental health together and finding out what's up with those migraines. It's a long journey, but that's when it began. I showed Laura more of Scotland, enjoyed summer and when Tiia came to Aberdeen, we celebrated our friendship by drinking champagne and buying pretty dresses.

August

I spent to whole month - more or less actively, looking for a new place to live. I also went for a holiday in Finland, where I got to spend some quality time with my best friends. I also visited Tallinn and Copenhagen for the first time. Satu and her brother visited Scotland and we did some sightseeing with them. 

September

I returned to university to carry on my research.  Laura and I moved in together. The move allowed me to start feeling mentally better and to change GPs. I tried to get an appointment so that I could finally get referred to a specialist, but there were long queues. Kata returned to Scotland and became our flatmate. The three of us had a civil war against the bugs living in our house. Laura started university.

October

I got new glasses, started learning Japanese, and bought myself a swimming pool membership. Lots of swimming, sushi and Japanese television. Even my laptop turned Japanese. That's all I did this month besides sleeping. I had the worst medication ever which meant that during two weeks I was only awake for maybe 28 hours. Then I stopped taking it.

November

Our flatmate Kata went to Africa and Laura and I sat at home in the dark. I burned lots of candles. I finally got blood tests done, and the results were abnormal enough to get a referral to a specialist. It was great, but I was feeling so ill and was worried that my brain might leak out. I turned to some natural remedies while I was in the 3-month long queue to see the specialist. It snowed and we decorated our house Christmassy.

December

I had a birthday, danced a little bit and burned candles. It was cold, so Laura and I bought pink onesies and hanged around the house looking cool. Then it was time to fly to Finland to spend Christmas there. The person in charge of the weather hadn't got my memo about snow, so there was no snow the whole time I was in Finland, but there were friends, family, warmth, food and a cat.

It's been quite a year. I'm not sure if I've now told a bit too much, but perhaps it's something I have to do in order to say bye bye to 2013. Were you surprised to hear something? Have you said bye bye to your 2013 yet? 

Now lets carry on with 2014. This year we have 340 days left to change our lives.