Year 2014 - autumn!

Hi!

So now it's time for the second part of this 2014 reminiscing thing I thought I'd do. In case you missed the first half, here's months January - June.

...So what happened in the autumn 2014?

July

July started with a trip to the vet. My cat died, and we buried him. I was very sad. I also spent a lot of time with my family members and best friends while I was still in Finland. I went to see my brother's first own flat, went strawberry picking with my sister and went to the Moominland with my best friends and goddaughter. Soon it was time to get back home to Scotland, but the weather was actually really lovely and warm so I got to go to the beach a couple of times before that! After that the rest of the month was just routine: working either early mornings or afternoons and getting home really late. 

These picture collages actually make my time in Finland look really long. It was actually less than two weeks, but it just happened to be the end of June and beginning of July and the most significant thing that happened to me in the summer.

August

August was actually pretty cool. I discovered my new favourite beer: Tsingtao 青島啤酒廠, a Chinese beer. There was also Aurora International Festival 2014 : a group of French folk dancers travelled from Toulouse to Aberdeen by bus (!) to perform their dances and to experience the Scottish culture. I went to a couple of their events and had a great time - they were such lovely people!

But the best thing in August was Manchester Pride Festival. It was such an amazing and well organised event! They had so many things going on and the whole Manchester Gay Village was accessible only with the festival wristband (which was really cheap considering all the events included in it!) which made it feel really safe as well. During a regular weekend, Manchester is fantastic compared to Aberdeen. Instead of one gay bar you get a whole street full of them plus a couple of extras but during the Pride Weekend it was just incredible! I spoke to one straight girl who had come to the festival just because she thought it would be a great event and she was so excited she said she would come back next year too. (So that's this year! Who wants to come with me?!) It was like one of these big all-weekend music festivals that I've been to before in my life but with all sorts of amazing extras. And really good performers. I'm so excited I saw Heather Peace, Foxes and Conchita Wurst. From front row. ... Aaahhh!  

Also, I sent my mum a postcard from Pride. That's something I thought I'd never do. Last time I went to a Pride Festival I had to lie to her and claim that I went somewhere else.

September

Carrying on with this theme of each months highlight being a trip somewhere: September was about Crete. I had never been to a beach holiday before. I had actually never travelled anywhere where it would be sunny or warm. My previous holiday destinations have ranged between Alaskan tundra, an uninhabited island in the middle of the North Sea, Germany in the winter etc. So I guess you can imagine my excitement? And perhaps understand that only 5% of the clothes I packed were actually even suitable for such weather conditions. It was so hot. What is that madness of not needing a jacket? Even in the evening? Mediterranean was such a beautiful and lovely place. I smothered myself with sun screen and enjoyed the sun and a few great cocktails. I was so pleased with the expensive sandals I had bought for this trip. I didn't want to wear anything else during this trip.

That trip was just so much more amazing than the new green coke – Coca-Cola Life –  that has 37% less white sugar because it has been replaced by Stevia sugar. But it was probably the most exciting thing in my life to happen in September besides the holiday. I mean, green coke. What is that?

October

October was wet. Very wet. And I was getting a bit tired. I went swimming, but it was pretty much the only excitement in my life. I felt a bit lonely as well. I was working only evenings anymore which I didn't really like – I preferred to have a mixture of late and early shifts. I wasn't really happy with how things were in my life. I started applying for new jobs and funding to go back to uni.

November

In November I got early shifts again and got to run to work with the bunnies before dawn! It made me feel so much better. I was also feeling really Christmassy since at work there had been all sorts of Christmas stuff going on for over a month already. So I put our Christmas tree up mid-November and listened to a lot of Christmas music. I also attended my work's Christmas party which was quite an experience... Before that I, however, had a sophisticated day trip to Fraserburgh's Lighthouse Museum which I would like to visit again, because we didn't actually have enough time to go and see the actual lighthouse.

Finland's government passed the equal marriage law which was a good reason for a wee celebration and some bubbly wine! It went well with some fajitas and a good lesbian movie Better Than Chocolate. 

I also had another successful job interview! I decided not to take it though because I also got money to go back to university.

December

December was fabulous. I quit my job and flew to Finland where I spent the first three days sweating and having problems breathing because the houses were so warm and the air was so very dry. And then there was snow! And my brother had a new kitten! And I went on a Turku-Stockholm party cruise twice! And there was Christmas and I loved all the lovely Christmas trees and all the yummy food!

I also turned 25 in December which is a bit scary because it's a quarter of a century which makes me sound really old. Like should I be sensible and know what I'm doing in life? I know nothing. But it's OK. I had a small birthday outing on my actual birthday but it ended up being like a double date in a table reserved for 10 people in a restaurant. It was a bit embarrassing, but at least the most important people were there. So much for those friends who didn't show up. But Tiia offered me a birthday dinner in a fancy restaurant when I arrived in Finland and afterwards we went to see Turku Christmas market!

I also liked that silly white T-shirt. I took that picture when I first saw it before Christmas and bought it later in January sales. Now I can wear it and be creepy.

The end. 

Okay, life goes on, and 2015 looks fairly promising!

Year 2014 - spring!

Happy new year, guys!

... Okay, I admit that my plan was to do this post last month. But better late than never, eh?

I did a similar post last year and found it really therapeutic to say goodbye to the year 2013. So I think it's worth it to review what happened in my life in 2014 as well. Maybe it will remind me of my mistakes so that I can learn from then? And more importantly I can see what I've achieved last year so that I can be proud of it. And maybe after this it will be easier to focus on this year and the future.

This has potential to be a bit long, so I'm going to do this in two parts.

So what happened in spring 2014?

January

I welcomed the year 2014 in a small Finnish town with my friends. We stood on a muddy field with sparklers. I had bought myself a fancy new camera with objectives and everything for a Christmas present and had great intentions to learn to use it. 

We sailed to Stockholm with my friends and had a great day out in rainy and wintery Stockholm. When Reseda and Anna would sail back to Finland, Mayumi and I were supposed to catch an evening flight to London. But of course there were problems. We had locked our suitcases, passports and plane tickets into a locker at the ferry terminal. But we hadn't realised to check what time the ferry terminal would close and of course the place was empty and the doors were locked when we returned there to collect our luggage just before our train would leave to the airport. Fortunately, we managed to catch the security guard before he went home. It was his first day! Thankfully, he was lovely and helped us to get back into the building to get our stuff, and we made it back to UK in one piece.

Before travelling back up to Scotland I spent a couple of days in my favourite city, Oxford. I visited J.R.R. Tolkien's grave and just wandered around the familiar streets and felt nostalgic.

When we got back to Aberdeen, Mayumi and I decided to compare whether differently priced Jaffa cakes actually tasted any different. They did. The medium priced were the best ones.

February

In February the sun started shining and Aberdeen didn't seem quite as miserable anymore. I decided that I needed to do something with my life and to start living again. I started yoga. I applied for jobs. I got contact lenses. I travelled to a job interview in Glasgow — and for the first time in my life it was successful job interview! My favourite shop, Lush, was campaigning for equal love. We also had a lovely candlelit Valentine's double date night. Also, our flatmate's Japanese boyfriend was visiting and we organised a road trip to visit some Scottish castles.

March

In March, Satu and I visited Manchester, bought some Lush bath bombs and may have ended up having a bath wearing our party dresses after a wee exploration trip to Canal Street. 

I also went to another job interview, got offered another job and started working in Aberdeen. And that's how the era of riding buses began.

April

In April, I had a lot of early mornings which involved getting up at 3am and running out of the door to catch a my bus to work. Those mornings were made a lot better by our neighbourhood bunnies who ran down the street with me. I really loved living there! Working was exciting but commuting for 3 hours everyday was tiring and I started drinking a lot of coffee.

I had a wee holiday too! I travelled to London to go to #rosweglyn -event, to meet "role models for the next generation of gay girls", also known as, "One venue, a handful of YouTubers and 600 screaming lesbians". I was quite excited to go to this thing! I got to meet Kaelyn and Lucy, who I had been following for a long time! And it certainly didn't make it less exciting that two other lesbian youtuber couples: Wegan (Megan and Whitney) and The Roses (Rose and Rosie) were going to be there too. Because Youtube has become sort of like my best friend, I obviously have been watching their videos too. Unfortunately,  Rose ended up in hospital that morning and wasn't able to be there.

May

This was fairly work-orientated month. I took photos of animals I met on my way to work each morning. It was dark, so I'm sure you understand that my phone wasn't able to produce high-quality photos. But I was so happy about meeting these animals! In May, I also finally got paid and celebrated that by buying a new hand bag and eating some fancy Japanese-style food. I also moved to a new flat, and then back to the old flat because the new one sucked. I also got myself a pool and sauna membership to the new aquatics centre. It was so good for me to dip into a pool after a long day of work and then to relax in the sauna. It made such a difference! And afterwards I liked to go to the pub to get a glass of cheap champagne.

June

I enjoyed summer in my favourite neighbourhood and admired our local Pictish standing stones. Then I received some bad news from Finland and travelled to see my poorly cat. Jonna happened to be hosting a breastfeeding celebration party so I travelled to her village to spend time with her and my goddaughter and some friends. We also got a chance to explore my hometown's dangerous nightlife... The same night, there was someone trying to get into a nightclub with a scythe. I don't know why my mum thinks the rest of the world is dangerous, when this sort of thing happens when I visit home.

So that was the first half. Here's the second half.

Do you enjoy looking back to see what you have done last year? I think I've seen some apps on Facebook that do that for you without you needing to dig through your photo albums like I did for this post. Oh, and if you have written similar posts yourself, feel free to link them to me!

Terrible Valentine's Day cards

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! ♥

I had a great plan to write a post about my frustration with Valentine's Day cards and also to provide you with some advice on how to by a reasonable card. Unfortunately I'm a bit late for that. In case you failed at it though, I hope this post will help you understand why you got dumped.

As you know, today is Valentine's Day. In Finland we call it "Friend's Day" which is really a day UK should have too. But as awful as Valentine's Day is with it's cheesiness, it's a good excuse for people to let the person in their day dreams know that there are some pheromones flying around. And for those who already have caught that lovely person, it's a good day to remind them that they are still appreciated.

In order to prepare for this pink and fluffy day, I decided to buy a Valentine's Day card.

If you have any arts and crafts skills, I recommend you just make one yourself. But because I'm not very artsy-crafty, I had to go with what they sell in the shops.

It was kind of easy because all the other girls were buzzing around the "boyfriend"-shelf, and I got the whole "girlfriend"-shelf for myself. There were no men in any of the card shops I visited. Maybe they all buy Asda smart price cards?

It's not that bad a choice really. Compared to what these shops had to offer.

You felt forced to buy a card? Then this one is a great buy to ensure that you'll no longer have a girlfriend to buy cards for.

Contact Lenses

Hello you!

I've had pretty awful time poking my eye over the past week, so I thought I'd come here and tell you about it.

As I told you in November, I've had glasses since I was 2, but only recently started wearing them more often. I had an enjoyable glass-free decade, but it's gone now. 

To be honest, I find glasses fairly annoying now. They slide down my nose when I read, and they get dirty all the time, and it makes me feel like the world looks blurrier than it does without my glasses. If I was rich, I would buy those amazing disposable glass-cleaning wipes, but they are really expensive and I also hate cumulating rubbish. One day soon, when I'm less annoyed with my eyes and more annoyed with rubbish, I will tell you ways how you could cumulate less rubbish too.

Occasionally I leave the house looking like this.

But anyway, the time for me to try out contact lenses is here.

Emphasis on the word try.

It hasn't been easy.

Confusing labels cause fights!

Hello!

Did you hear that Scotland passed the Equal Marriage law yesterday?! 

Yay, now I can get married! 

Well, almost. Now I would just like Finland to follow this example.

Rainbow flag at our university's societies' building!

Okay, because I wasn't going to go wedding dress shopping right now, I thought I'd write a little rant about a completely different topic. Is this even going to be a rant? Aren't you supposed to be angry at someone when you have a rant? I don't feel angry. And I actually really hope I won't offend anyone. I just want to bring these things up, so that they could be discussed. But this is partly about how people seem to get very offended by everything these days. 

People find it natural to label everything. So I just wanted to share some of my thoughts about labels we have for different genders and sexual orientations.

I got inspired to write this post after I read tau's blog post (in Finnish). She wrote about how very few people know about her pansexuality, because she's in a relationship with a boy, and doesn't really see why she should come out to everyone she meets. She also points out that in order to even talk about her feelings or orientation, she needs to pick a box and stand in it.

And she chose pansexuality. This made me want to write about pansexuality.

Picture from knowhomo.tumblr.com.

Do you know what "pansexual" means?

Does anyone know?

Is pansexuality just the ultimate category for those who got tired of questioning and finally felt that they don't really mind what gender their partners represent? Or is it just a fancy word for bisexuality that some people use to confuse people? Is it a fashion trend?

It could be any of those things, but probably for most pansexuals it's not. It could be a conversation starter. If you ask about their sexual orientation, and they reply pansexual, then they've only told you that gender is not important to them when they are looking for a partner. But you still haven't got an answer to what kind of people they're interested in.

But why do you need to have a label? Why can't people just be people?

I used to label myself pansexual when it was less acceptable for me to just be gay. It was important to have a label, because people would keep asking questions. I'm still bitter that I had to fill a form to university where the options were:

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Lesbian

Gay man

Prefer not to say 

Because back then I had a boyfriend, I felt that I couldn't really tick the lesbian box. I was kind of tempted to claim that I was a gay man just because I didn't see the point for separating "gay men" and "lesbians" when the other groups were grouped together and when there was a separate question for my gender next to it. And I didn't want to choose the last option, because I really preferred to tell them that I was LGBT since they were asking. In the end I answered "bisexual" although I felt that that label didn't really describe me. And later I realised how unfair it was for all the bisexuals that I would even call myself bisexual. 

There's enough biphobia without me jumping around as a bad example. 

"You can't like both genders, they'll all eventually just go back to men/women."

"Bisexuality is just a phase before they come out as gay." 

I don't want to make it worse and just ticked the lesbian box the next time I had to fill the same form. It felt a lot better.

Maybe everyone who identifies as a pansexual has their own definition for the term?

Oh, there are so many different kinds of pans.

Goodbye, 2013.

Hello!

I've read several blog posts were people have been looking back to last year. I'm a couple of weeks late with this, but I finally decided that I could do it as well. At first, I really didn't want to. But maybe it might be good for me? It could be therapeutic, and maybe I'd see that last year wasn't completely pointless. You can't get forward if you live in the past, but you also can't get forward if you ignore what's happened.

Would you like to hear what my last year was like?

January

I welcomed the year 2013 in London. Satu and I had gone to see the fireworks at Thames. I felt hopeful. We spent a few days eating cheap chicken burgers and buying expensive underwear. Then we went to Glasgow where obviously everything was closed because it takes so long for all the Scots to sober up after their Hogmanay celebrations. When the shops opened again we spent a day shopping cosmetics. Later that month I went on a little runaway holiday in Germany. By myself. I visited a friend in Cologne and went to see my host family in Rheinland-Pfalz area and spent a couple of days exploring Bremen by myself. I met interesting people, and visited Finland as well, because the flights were only 12 euros from Germany.

February

University term started again. I was trying to keep everything together with a part-time job that was taking way too much out of me, managing seminars and all the uniwork that I was already a bit behind with, a crumbling relationship, loneliness, and recurrent migraines. I realised that Skype is actually a very useful tool when you want to socialise with your friends when you can't be in the same place. I also ate lots of Lucky Charm cereals, although it was really expensive to buy them in UK. But they seemed to be the only happy thing in my life at the time. What else would you expect from the gayest cereal there is?

March

I had serious social anxiety problems, migraines and was running out of energy and managing everything was becoming more difficult. I watched a lot of Youtube videos, practised wearing make-up, and spent a lot of money on cosmetics. I was mentally very close to reaching a breaking point, but still managed to make it to a few social events, like the Gaylidh - my university's LGBT society's annual ball. I also signed the petition for equal marriage in Finland.

April

The month started with a break up. Then there was a field tip I had been dreading for a half a year. I really wasn't looking forward to it, but it didn't end up being as scary and awful as I had feared. The month went on and I started enjoying my life as a single. My friend Tom came to visit and we did a lot of touristy things that I hadn't had the energy to do alone. We visited Glasgow, went to a football game, ceilidhed, ate pub food and drank beer.

May

I flew to Finland to throw some rice in a family wedding, celebrate Vappu with my friend Tiia and met Laura again after several years. I flew back to Scotland, wrote some essays, gave a speech in a conference and went camping. I started to find reasons to be happy again, and began to build up my confidence. Laura came to visit me in Scotland and I drove 15 people to a dance with a minibus.

June

I quit my job and phoned my mum to tell her that I had a girlfriend. Laura and I went to Pride Scotia in Edinburgh. I listened to a lot of Mindy Gledhill. I participated a Gothic themed pub crawl. I was also working on my dissertation, rolling in soil and practising augering.

July

I went to North Rona, which is definitely one of the most incredible places I've ever visited. I also realised how burned out I was and started a sick leave which finally gave me the chance to start stitching my mental health together and finding out what's up with those migraines. It's a long journey, but that's when it began. I showed Laura more of Scotland, enjoyed summer and when Tiia came to Aberdeen, we celebrated our friendship by drinking champagne and buying pretty dresses.

August

I spent to whole month - more or less actively, looking for a new place to live. I also went for a holiday in Finland, where I got to spend some quality time with my best friends. I also visited Tallinn and Copenhagen for the first time. Satu and her brother visited Scotland and we did some sightseeing with them. 

September

I returned to university to carry on my research.  Laura and I moved in together. The move allowed me to start feeling mentally better and to change GPs. I tried to get an appointment so that I could finally get referred to a specialist, but there were long queues. Kata returned to Scotland and became our flatmate. The three of us had a civil war against the bugs living in our house. Laura started university.

October

I got new glasses, started learning Japanese, and bought myself a swimming pool membership. Lots of swimming, sushi and Japanese television. Even my laptop turned Japanese. That's all I did this month besides sleeping. I had the worst medication ever which meant that during two weeks I was only awake for maybe 28 hours. Then I stopped taking it.

November

Our flatmate Kata went to Africa and Laura and I sat at home in the dark. I burned lots of candles. I finally got blood tests done, and the results were abnormal enough to get a referral to a specialist. It was great, but I was feeling so ill and was worried that my brain might leak out. I turned to some natural remedies while I was in the 3-month long queue to see the specialist. It snowed and we decorated our house Christmassy.

December

I had a birthday, danced a little bit and burned candles. It was cold, so Laura and I bought pink onesies and hanged around the house looking cool. Then it was time to fly to Finland to spend Christmas there. The person in charge of the weather hadn't got my memo about snow, so there was no snow the whole time I was in Finland, but there were friends, family, warmth, food and a cat.

It's been quite a year. I'm not sure if I've now told a bit too much, but perhaps it's something I have to do in order to say bye bye to 2013. Were you surprised to hear something? Have you said bye bye to your 2013 yet? 

Now lets carry on with 2014. This year we have 340 days left to change our lives.

Non-disastrous family holidays?

Happy new year, bunnies!

I hope all of you had enjoyable holidays! My holidays this year were different. For me. For most people it's probably normal to spend Christmas at their childhood home and see lots of family members, but I hadn't done that for 3 years. And this time I brought someone with me! There was some great potential for holiday conflicts.

Is it too late to tell you about my Christmas? I mean it's so last year... But nevermind! Last Christmas was such a positive surprise for me that I'm going to tell you about it anyway. I didn't get the snow I was hoping to see but everything else went very well.

I've never spent a Christmas with a partner before. As much as I've enjoyed spending my Christmas Eves wrapping presents in a Harry Potter -like cupboard at the bottom of the stairs in my friend's house in Edinburgh, it felt more meaningful to light up candles to family graves and warm up afterwards in the sauna with Laura. She met all of my family members and I met hers. And to my great surprise, everyone was nice to each other. I still can't believe how well my family behaved and how nice and welcoming Laura's family was! Did I mention that her sister made me TARDIS earrings?

Laura and I stayed at my mum's place over the Christmas. On Christmas Eve we had dinner at my grandparents, and then visited graveyards. In the evening, we went and had dessert at my grandparents' friends' house. My brother wasn't pleased about all these activities, because he was very keen on opening the presents. But we did get home before midnight to open them! On Christmas morning, my best Loimaa-friend, Anna, and I went to church. I tried to take Laura with me but, she told me that if I wanted her not to be grumpy for the rest of the day, I'd better let her sleep. But later that day, Laura and I went to Anna's and and a little Christmas celebration with her. 

On Boxing Day it was time to dine with my Dad's family at my grandad's. After that Laura and I drove to Hyvinkää to her sister's place, so that we all would be ready to go and visit her grandparents on 27th. With all of these scary family meetings, and introducing Laura to my grandparents, I had completely forgotten to be nervous about meeting her grandparents. But I was welcomed in with lots of hugs! And I found my godfather's meat boutique's products in their fridge. It wasn't really what I expected to find there, considering that we were 200 kilometres from the boutique. But again, we ate more good Finnish Christmas food, and got an opportunity to use their wood-heated sauna.

But Christmas is not the only thing to celebrate in December. My mum turned 50 on New Year's Eve and we had the biggest Birthday-Hogmanay party that we've ever had. And my friend Tiia graduated as a occupational therapist which of course was a great reason for a party. First she came and celebrated with just Laura and me in Loimaa's vibrant nightlife, and between Christmas and Hogmanay she had a party at her place in Turku.

I am so happy that I got a chance to spend so time with my best Finnish friends. And there were many opportunities to enjoy saunas! And to drink coffee. Sauna, Finnish coffee and my cat are the three things I miss the most when I'm in Scotland.

It was such a relaxing holiday. I thought that meeting so many family members would be stressful, but somehow hardly any of it was. The things were about to get a bit steamy when my mum got stressed out about our packing. I can understand that it maybe looked disastrous with two hardly closing suitcases, and a couple of over-filled backpacks and handbags. Especially when my only shoes broke and I had to buy new ones on our departure day. But instead of a huge fight, we managed to escape and went to drink some coffee with my friend Jonna and my goddaughter. We came up with great plans to go and see Moomins next summer!

This holiday was exactly what I needed. Especially when we had some mini-holidays on the way back. When it's cheaper to travel via Stockholm and Oxford, it's always a great idea to stop and enjoy those places as well. Stockholm was cute and Oxford was the best as always. I hadn't been to Oxford for 5½ years, but it was still just as wonderful as I remembered it! But I'll tell you more about our return journey and the adventures we faced in another post.

Is there something you would like me to write more about? 

Family, friends and future

It's crazy o'clock and I'm drinking lumpy chocolate milk and burning a Yankee candle while I'm writing this. I just had a candlelit shower. It was awesome. I'm kind of glad this no-light-in-the-bathroom incident happened. Otherwise I would have never bothered lighting candles in the bathroom just so that I could have a shower. I feel clean and happy now.

I think this is a fantastic moment to tell you something about me. This time I'm going to tell you about my background. Me, my family, friends and my future wishes relating to family and friends. And I'm going to be using "...and that's who I am" pictures again.

Ready to find out more about me?

Stories from Finland

Hello!

Guess what? I have a new favourite song! I really wanted to share it with you.

This song is by a new Finnish band called Sallan ja Miron matka maailman ympäri, which means “Salla and Miro's trip around the world”. These two young Finns make their own music – Miro composes and writes their songs and Salla sings. Miro also plays instruments and sometimes sings. There are also two other members in the band – the boys, Aku and Aarni sitting on the bench in the video.

For a moment I had thought there was nothing worth listening to coming from Finland these days. My favourite bands had either quit or started a long break. But then I discovered this band! And they haven't even released their first album yet.

I also think that this music video is fantastic. It has all of my favourite things in it! Finnish summer, planes and holding hands. To be fair, I like everything about this video. It's different in an ordinary way, and it's cute and happy!

I don't listen to music very often anymore. And when I do, I mostly just want to hear happy music. I have heard enough angry and depressing music already. I probably could listen to something like that, if I was angry or depressed at the time – but these days I just want to be happy. And it's a lot easier if there is happy music playing in the background.

In this song, Tarinoita - “Stories”, she's singing about how she's not sure if she wants her to tag along. She's asking her to tell stories – and it's irrelevant whether they are true – in order to get to know her better.

She asks three questions:

1. Can you ride a horse?

2. Do you believe in God?

3. Could you save me?

In the end she concludes that it's pointless to beg the world for love or forgiveness – and that she does want her to tag along.

When it's summmer in Finland, I like to sit in a cage with a cat.

Did you like the song?

Snails and bunnies

Hey!

So, moving house happened. Life's looking a lot brighter now! About a week ago we packed our bags and moved to our new place. Instead of broken glass on the street and seagulls screaming outside that we had at the old place, we now see snails on the road outside our house and there are bunnies jumping around in our backyard.

Our fellow resident.

Moving house was really exciting. Unfortunately all of our stuff did not fit into a suitcase. We did a few trips with bags and suitcases, but last weekend I hired a van, so that we could move rest of our stuff. I miss driving. I would like to be able to drive more. Then I might get better at it and stop worrying about it so much. But having a car made moving a lot easier than shifting all of our stuff on a public transport. I'm not an expert house-mover, and I actually kind of hate moving. But it's probably because I have more stuff than I would like to. But I own too many things that I don't want to throw away. Having my own museum would be useful. All the things, I don't actively want to have in my life could go there. Like weird presents and old school books that might come in handy one day.

Waiting for a bus to take us home.

But now when the move is almost done, I like knowing exactly what I have. Some things have gone missing, but I've found things that I didn't know I had. I didn't know I had 10 toothbrushes or chopsticks! Okay, the chopsticks look kind of disposable and I have probably nicked them from a Chinese restaurant when I ended up using a fork and decided that I should really practise using chopsticks at home before I end up in an Asian restaurant the next time. I have since then realised that you can just stab the food with one stick and use the other to pretend that you are eating with them sophisticatedly.

Eating cereal is a lot easier than eating Asian food.

Since moving to the new place, a thought has occurred to me. I realised that some of my headaches and migraines might be caused by my sight. I went to see an optician, and my sight hasn't actually changed too much, but enough to get new glasses. So now I'm going to get new glasses too! My girlfriend thinks they look too hipster. But she's going to get glasses I won't like, so it's all even. That's what relationships are about - compromises and making sure all the feelings are mutual.

I have also been wondering about how I don't know when to come out to people. When should I and when shouldn't I? Does anyone know? Because I am really not sure. 

Is it appropriate to tell strangers that I have a girlfriend? For instance, when an optician asks about my week, is it acceptable to talk about putting furniture together with my girlfriend? For some reason, I feel that she might not want to hear about it – that she might see it as something too private. But if it was a boyfriend I was putting furniture together with, I maybe would not feel that it would be too much information to the poor optician. But why should homosexuality be more private than heterosexuality? And what about when she's just assumed to be my friend? When, for instance, a waiter asks me about “my friend's order”, should I tell them that she's actually my girlfriend? Or would that be rude? Should I just settle for people assuming that I'm out with a friend? I mean, girlfriend is still a friend, right? 

This is probably something that is not only a problem same-sex couples have. – Or at least I hope that people don't assume anymore that when a boy and a girl are seen together that they are automatically a couple. But what do you think?

First times

Someone once said that you should try and do something new everyday. After spending a year mostly sitting alone in my room, it sounds very extreme to me. But it also sound like something I should really try to do!

This week I've done many things!

I've drank champagne dressed up in sequins,

There's just no space for unhappiness if you have champagne and sequins.

had a house party at my flat,

There were two of my favourite people and two people I had never met before.
The blinds fell down and the floor I had just washed got very sticky.

broken some rules,

We also polkaed on the beach barefoot.

found a random taxi driver who was just picking up his wife from work and convinced him to take me to the airport to catch a flight that was supposed to leave in 45 minutes.

Miraculously we made it although the check-in desk had already closed when we got there.

And stroked a hairless cat dressed up as a dinosaur.

Thank you, Henri!

It's been a busy week.

Other than that I've come to realise that I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. But this year has taught me that trying to keep working when life is full of stress and there's no happiness – it's not worth it. If I had known what I know now, I probably would have quit earlier. My life involved long days of trying to keep on top of my part-time job that was there to help me pay my rent and doing all of the uniwork for my masters. I felt too busy and too stressed out to meet friends in my very limited free time which I mostly spent crying alone at home, and as the year went on I became too nervous to even try and meet up with anyone. It was a very lonely year. My job was lonely as well, I was working alone when there was no one else there and my class situation at the university alarmingly reminded me of secondary school. I felt socially lonely – which is even a worse feeling than just feeling lonely when you're on your own.

That's not how I imagined my life to be. When I was little and obsessed with the TV series Friends, I wished that one day my life would be like theirs: I would live with my friends, have fun and they would be there for me when it hasn't been my day, month or even a year.

But basically, after somehow (barely) surviving this year, I want this all to change. I am currently looking for a flat where I could live with friends. Haven't found anything yet, and am mentally preparing myself to live in a cardboard box, but at least I don't want to be alone anymore. I also never again want to be in such a toxic environment that it's slowly killing me. If one day, for instance, I would manage to get a job, where I have to work with complete arseholes who are not treating me nicely and try to smoke me out, I am not going to stick around to see whether they mange to mess up my life or not. All I want from my future from now on, is happiness and I am not ready to negotiate it anymore.

Have you done anything new for the first time recently?