Guess what? We decided to stay here with the bunnies and all the happiness. It's far from some places, but sometimes far away is good. We have our own things that are close to us. There's a river, a 24-hour supermarket, fantastic foresty jogging route and a little park with a Pictish standing stone. This is our home.
It's been quite a busy week moving back and forth. I really recommend to everyone to move away or to pretend to move away if you ever feel unhappy. It really makes you appreciate your life at your current place more. Unless you actually feel happy about moving – then you should probably just move.
But I've never been this happy before in the Bunnyland. I mean, I've been really happy living here, but I feel that I've never appreciated this place quite this much. We had some friends over for dinner on Friday, and we showed them around our house, our surroundings and even took them for a magical shopping trip to our local supermarket. It was lovely to see that they were as excited about this place as we are. They even said that they understand why we want to live this far from the university.
I'm also really excited about summer! I even managed to dry some laundry outside at the weekend. I've also been looking at garden furniture recently. It would be nice to sit and eat outside.
Laundry and dinner party weren't the only things that happened this weekend. We also went to a Moulin Rouge themed ball on Saturday. It was kind of a one-year-together celebration for us. And also a good excuse to dress up.
Someone
once said that you should try and do something new everyday. After
spending a year mostly sitting alone in my room, it sounds very
extreme to me. But it also sound like something I should really try
to do!
This week
I've done many things!
I've drank champagne dressed up in sequins,
There's just no space for unhappiness if you have champagne and sequins.
had a
house party at my flat,
There were two of my favourite people and two people I had never met before.
The blinds fell down and the floor I had just washed got very sticky.
broken
some rules,
We also polkaed on the beach barefoot.
found a
random taxi driver who was just picking up his wife from work and
convinced him to take me to the airport to catch a flight that was
supposed to leave in 45 minutes.
Miraculously we made it although the check-in desk had already closed when we got there.
And
stroked a hairless cat dressed up as a dinosaur.
Thank you, Henri!
It's been
a busy week.
Other
than that I've come to realise that I have no idea what I'm going to
do with my life. But this year has taught me that trying to keep
working when life is full of stress and there's no happiness – it's
not worth it. If I had known what I know now, I probably would have
quit earlier. My life involved long days of trying to keep on top of
my part-time job that was there to help me pay my rent and doing all
of the uniwork for my masters. I felt too busy and too stressed out
to meet friends in my very limited free time which I mostly spent
crying alone at home, and as the year went on I became too nervous to
even try and meet up with anyone. It was a very lonely year. My job
was lonely as well, I was working alone when there was no one else
there and my class situation at the university alarmingly reminded me
of secondary school. I felt socially lonely – which is even a
worse feeling than just feeling lonely when you're on your own.
That's
not how I imagined my life to be. When I was little and obsessed with
the TV series Friends, I
wished that one day my life would be like theirs: I would live
with my friends, have fun and they would be there for me when it
hasn't been my day, month or even a year.
But
basically, after somehow (barely) surviving this year, I want this
all to change. I am currently looking for a flat where I could live
with friends. Haven't found anything yet, and am mentally preparing
myself to live in a cardboard box, but at least I don't want to be
alone anymore. I also never again want to be in such a toxic
environment that it's slowly killing me. If one day, for instance, I
would manage to get a job, where I have to work with complete
arseholes who are not treating me nicely and try to smoke me out, I
am not going to stick around to see whether they mange to mess up my
life or not. All I want from my future from now on, is happiness and
I am not ready to negotiate it anymore.
Have
you done anything new for the first time recently?
Big
words, guys. But if I'm going to start talking about things without
censoring most of my thoughts, this might be a good topic to start
with. And I will without a doubt be coming back to this. I'll just
write about individuality today, but all three of these topics are
interlinked.
When I
was at school we had a photo competition which theme was
“individually together”. The concept made sense to me then, and
it still does. But unfortunately it does not make sense to everyone
and it's very sad. So many people are trying to “fit the crowd”
and look “normal”. Do what “society thinks is right” instead
of being who they are.
Okay, I
must admit that I was never the coolest of kids. And still am not. I
mean, I look like this in my holiday photos:
It was a holiday in Lewis in 2010!
And
surprise, surprise! I was bullied at school. I never really understood
why I got bullied. I didn't really think of it at the time,
I just did my best at ignoring it. But then I came across a news paper article where the journalist had interviewed a class and found out what kind
of reasons will be used as excuses for bullying.
Here are
the reasons they listed:
Wrong
clothes. Clothes that are five
years old, discount store clothes, charity shop clothes, cartoon
character -tops, Gothic style, Lolita style, heavy rocker style, or
anything that might make you look gay. Wrong
music. Anything ancient or
classical. Church music. Anything that the majority doesn't listen
to. Basically you have to listen to bands that are on top10 lists. Wrong
hobbies. Guides, computer
games, larping, archery, violin, golf, church clubs, fantasy books,
Irish dance, martial arts if you're a girl and ballet, riding or
piano if you're a boy. Basically you're not “allowed to” have any
“weird” or different hobbies – such as dance if you're a boy. Wrong
ideologies. Religiousness,
vegetarianism, or accepting gay rights. Basically you're not allowed
to enjoy reading or fantasy. Or have much opinions about anything.
Thank
goodness I'm not at school anymore. This explains why I got bullied.
I could post pictures of myself doing all of those things “wrong”,
but I probably don't have to. And I'm glad I did. I never wanted to
be a robot who wore what the other girls told me to wear, listened to
crappy top10 lists and had no opinions. I had a lot more fun wearing
Tinker Bell -tops, going to church clubs and camps, listening to emo
music, playing computer games, reading fantasy books and generally
just being a weird, opinionated homosexual.
This is how "amazing" the picture quality was in older camera phones.
It was
way more fun being weird! My freetime activities were amazing. Here,
for instance, I went to a clothes store with my friend and we both
chose each other the most awful outfits and then took photos in the
changing room. This is what teenagers should do, instead of learning
how to became a robot.
And this topic is not only relevant to those who are at school and going through those horrible teenager years trying to figure out who they are while being under constant pressure of not doing anything that wouldn't be accepted by their peers. This is relevant to anyone! No matter what your age is, you can still discover new things about yourself and new ways to express yourself. Start a new hobby, explore new hairstyles or get into motorcycles. There are mums out there who are afraid to get tattoos and piercings or other mums wouldn't let their children to play with their kids. There are grandmas who wonder what their friends might say if they got a purple mohawk*. There are men who really want to wear skirts instead of trousers because it's hot outside. Such things won't change their ability to function as members of society. Those little things that would be a part of their individual appearance would only make them happier and more lively. And happy people can do anything! Those who judge should go home and think about what makes them so angry.
One of my
favourite bands, PMMP, released this song 4 years ago.
It is amazing. Here are some bits of the lyrics in English**:
They
shout furiously: “No! Men don't behave like that!”
I
guess beauty offends them
But
although they make fun of my body
They
can never touch my soul
My
clothes that people make fun of
and my
feather boa that is so despised here
need more glitter when I get there
or
otherwise I will be unnoticed in the eclectic crowd
There,
family cars are not the only cars stuck in the traffic jam
There
are buses and limousines side by side
I
will not swallow tears but champagne instead
I
will dress up in sequins from head to toe
The
mouths don't mock and not a single finger rises
I'm
not afraid that I won't find anyone
And
like a bird I will rise up
I was
never a prisoner of my body after all
Seriously it's the best song ever. It's all about equality and being
accepted as who you are. Sadly in this song, the person had to leave
somewhere else, but that's just something you need to do if you're
surroundings are poisonous. But we are all gorgeous as who we are!
And all of us are allowed to wear whatever we like, whatever makes us
confident and happy. And that's the beauty of it. Life would be
boring if everyone just wore hoodies and jeans.
So, who wants to dress up in sequins and come and drink champagne
with me?
Featuring Scottish countryside.
I have muffins.
* True story! She came in to book an appointment when I was at the hairdressers. ** I'm sorry, but my translation skills suck. Please let me know if you
know how to translate this song better.
