So now it's time for the second part of this 2014 reminiscing thing I thought I'd do. In case you missed the first half, here's months January - June.
...So what happened in the autumn 2014?
July
July started with a trip to the vet. My cat died, and we buried him. I was very sad. I also spent a lot of time with my family members and best friends while I was still in Finland. I went to see my brother's first own flat, went strawberry picking with my sister and went to the Moominland with my best friends and goddaughter. Soon it was time to get back home to Scotland, but the weather was actually really lovely and warm so I got to go to the beach a couple of times before that! After that the rest of the month was just routine: working either early mornings or afternoons and getting home really late.
These picture collages actually make my time in Finland look really long. It was actually less than two weeks, but it just happened to be the end of June and beginning of July and the most significant thing that happened to me in the summer.
August
August was actually pretty cool. I discovered my new favourite beer: Tsingtao 青島啤酒廠, a Chinese beer. There was also Aurora International Festival 2014 : a group of French folk dancers travelled from Toulouse to Aberdeen by bus (!) to perform their dances and to experience the Scottish culture. I went to a couple of their events and had a great time - they were such lovely people!
But the best thing in August was Manchester Pride Festival. It was such an amazing and well organised event! They had so many things going on and the whole Manchester Gay Village was accessible only with the festival wristband (which was really cheap considering all the events included in it!) which made it feel really safe as well. During a regular weekend, Manchester is fantastic compared to Aberdeen. Instead of one gay bar you get a whole street full of them plus a couple of extras but during the Pride Weekend it was just incredible! I spoke to one straight girl who had come to the festival just because she thought it would be a great event and she was so excited she said she would come back next year too. (So that's this year! Who wants to come with me?!) It was like one of these big all-weekend music festivals that I've been to before in my life but with all sorts of amazing extras. And really good performers. I'm so excited I saw Heather Peace, Foxes and Conchita Wurst. From front row. ... Aaahhh!
Also, I sent my mum a postcard from Pride. That's something I thought I'd never do. Last time I went to a Pride Festival I had to lie to her and claim that I went somewhere else.
September
Carrying on with this theme of each months highlight being a trip somewhere: September was about Crete. I had never been to a beach holiday before. I had actually never travelled anywhere where it would be sunny or warm. My previous holiday destinations have ranged between Alaskan tundra, an uninhabited island in the middle of the North Sea, Germany in the winter etc. So I guess you can imagine my excitement? And perhaps understand that only 5% of the clothes I packed were actually even suitable for such weather conditions. It was so hot. What is that madness of not needing a jacket? Even in the evening? Mediterranean was such a beautiful and lovely place. I smothered myself with sun screen and enjoyed the sun and a few great cocktails. I was so pleased with the expensive sandals I had bought for this trip. I didn't want to wear anything else during this trip.
That trip was just so much more amazing than the new green coke – Coca-Cola Life – that has 37% less white sugar because it has been replaced by Stevia sugar. But it was probably the most exciting thing in my life to happen in September besides the holiday. I mean, green coke. What is that?
October
October was wet. Very wet. And I was getting a bit tired. I went swimming, but it was pretty much the only excitement in my life. I felt a bit lonely as well. I was working only evenings anymore which I didn't really like – I preferred to have a mixture of late and early shifts. I wasn't really happy with how things were in my life. I started applying for new jobs and funding to go back to uni.
November
In November I got early shifts again and got to run to work with the bunnies before dawn! It made me feel so much better. I was also feeling really Christmassy since at work there had been all sorts of Christmas stuff going on for over a month already. So I put our Christmas tree up mid-November and listened to a lot of Christmas music. I also attended my work's Christmas party which was quite an experience... Before that I, however, had a sophisticated day trip to Fraserburgh's Lighthouse Museum which I would like to visit again, because we didn't actually have enough time to go and see the actual lighthouse.
Finland's government passed the equal marriage law which was a good reason for a wee celebration and some bubbly wine! It went well with some fajitas and a good lesbian movie Better Than Chocolate.
I also had another successful job interview! I decided not to take it though because I also got money to go back to university.
December
December was fabulous. I quit my job and flew to Finland where I spent the first three days sweating and having problems breathing because the houses were so warm and the air was so very dry. And then there was snow! And my brother had a new kitten! And I went on a Turku-Stockholm party cruise twice! And there was Christmas and I loved all the lovely Christmas trees and all the yummy food!
I also turned 25 in December which is a bit scary because it's a quarter of a century which makes me sound really old. Like should I be sensible and know what I'm doing in life? I know nothing. But it's OK. I had a small birthday outing on my actual birthday but it ended up being like a double date in a table reserved for 10 people in a restaurant. It was a bit embarrassing, but at least the most important people were there. So much for those friends who didn't show up. But Tiia offered me a birthday dinner in a fancy restaurant when I arrived in Finland and afterwards we went to see Turku Christmas market!
I also liked that silly white T-shirt. I took that picture when I first saw it before Christmas and bought it later in January sales. Now I can wear it and be creepy.
The end.
Okay, life goes on, and 2015 looks fairly promising!
Happy new year, guys! ... Okay, I admit that my plan was to do this post last month. But better late than never, eh?
I did a similar post last year and found it really therapeutic to say goodbye to the year 2013. So I think it's worth it to review what happened in my life in 2014 as well. Maybe it will remind me of my mistakes so that I can learn from then? And more importantly I can see what I've achieved last year so that I can be proud of it. And maybe after this it will be easier to focus on this year and the future.
This has potential to be a bit long, so I'm going to do this in two parts.
So what happened in spring 2014?
January
I welcomed the year 2014 in a small Finnish town with my friends. We stood on a muddy field with sparklers. I had bought myself a fancy new camera with objectives and everything for a Christmas present and had great intentions to learn to use it.
We sailed to Stockholm with my friends and had a great day out in rainy and wintery Stockholm. When Reseda and Anna would sail back to Finland, Mayumi and I were supposed to catch an evening flight to London. But of course there were problems. We had locked our suitcases, passports and plane tickets into a locker at the ferry terminal. But we hadn't realised to check what time the ferry terminal would close and of course the place was empty and the doors were locked when we returned there to collect our luggage just before our train would leave to the airport. Fortunately, we managed to catch the security guard before he went home. It was his first day! Thankfully, he was lovely and helped us to get back into the building to get our stuff, and we made it back to UK in one piece.
Before travelling back up to Scotland I spent a couple of days in my favourite city, Oxford. I visited J.R.R. Tolkien's grave and just wandered around the familiar streets and felt nostalgic.
When we got back to Aberdeen, Mayumi and I decided to compare whether differently priced Jaffa cakes actually tasted any different. They did. The medium priced were the best ones.
February
In February the sun started shining and Aberdeen didn't seem quite as miserable anymore. I decided that I needed to do something with my life and to start living again. I started yoga. I applied for jobs. I got contact lenses. I travelled to a job interview in Glasgow — and for the first time in my life it was successful job interview! My favourite shop, Lush, was campaigning for equal love. We also had a lovely candlelit Valentine's double date night. Also, our flatmate's Japanese boyfriend was visiting and we organised a road trip to visit some Scottish castles.
March
In March, Satu and I visited Manchester, bought some Lush bath bombs and may have ended up having a bath wearing our party dresses after a wee exploration trip to Canal Street.
In April, I had a lot of early mornings which involved getting up at 3am and running out of the door to catch a my bus to work. Those mornings were made a lot better by our neighbourhoodbunnies who ran down the street with me. I really loved living there! Working was exciting but commuting for 3 hours everyday was tiring and I started drinking a lot of coffee.
I had a wee holiday too! I travelled to London to go to #rosweglyn -event, to meet "role models for the next generation of gay girls", also known as, "One venue, a handful of YouTubers and 600 screaming lesbians". I was quite excited to go to this thing! I got to meet Kaelyn and Lucy, who I had been following for a long time! And it certainly didn't make it less exciting that two other lesbian youtuber couples: Wegan (Megan and Whitney) and The Roses (Rose and Rosie) were going to be there too. Because Youtube has become sort of like my best friend, I obviously have been watching their videos too. Unfortunately, Rose ended up in hospital that morning and wasn't able to be there.
May
This was fairly work-orientated month. I took photos of animals I met on my way to work each morning. It was dark, so I'm sure you understand that my phone wasn't able to produce high-quality photos. But I was so happy about meeting these animals! In May, I also finally got paid and celebrated that by buying a new hand bag and eating some fancy Japanese-style food. I also moved to a new flat, and then back to the old flat because the new one sucked. I also got myself a pool and sauna membership to the new aquatics centre. It was so good for me to dip into a pool after a long day of work and then to relax in the sauna. It made such a difference! And afterwards I liked to go to the pub to get a glass of cheap champagne.
June
I enjoyed summer in my favourite neighbourhood and admired our local Pictish standing stones. Then I received some bad news from Finland and travelled to see my poorly cat. Jonna happened to be hosting a breastfeeding celebration party so I travelled to her village to spend time with her and my goddaughter and some friends. We also got a chance to explore my hometown's dangerous nightlife... The same night, there was someone trying to get into a nightclub with a scythe. I don't know why my mum thinks the rest of the world is dangerous, when this sort of thing happens when I visit home.
Do you enjoy looking back to see what you have done last year? I think I've seen some apps on Facebook that do that for you without you needing to dig through your photo albums like I did for this post. Oh, and if you have written similar posts yourself, feel free to link them to me!
This post has nothing to do with December. I just wanted to tell you why it's great to be a woman. I mean, a human.
This thought process started when I read one Finnish online article. A Finnish "popular lifestyle" website asked some women to list aspects of life where that they think men have it better. And because I tend to take these funny things seriously, I decided to write a very long blog post about it, talking about all of these 34 points. Are you ready?
Apparently these women are jealous about the following things:
1. No need to suffer from menstruation.
Itsestäänselvyys: ei tarvitse kärsiä menkoista.
Well, obviously it can be painful which sucks, but after I discovered menstrual cups it has become the only bad thing about it. No need to wear uncomfortable bleached plastic nappies (also known as menstrual pads) in my underpants or to push chemical-infused cotton sticks (also known as tampons) inside me. Periods are not stopping me from doing anything. I've spent a week menstruating on an uninhabited island without toilets, running water or electricity. I survived.
Plus by having periods you can make sure that there's no unexpected babies in their way. Men don't have that benefit.
2. No need to shave your legs.
Ei tarvitse ajella sääriä.
Honestly, I don't even remember when was the last time I shaved my legs. I go swimming at the local pool a couple of times a week though. No one has stopped me. No one has even looked at my legs that I've noticed. Why do women feel they have to shave their legs? Last summer my legs were very fluffy until I went swimming with my little sister. I removed some of the hair before that trip just because I didn't feel fluffy legs were appropriate at a Finnish beach site, but it was my choice. No one should force you to shave your legs.
Some men may become more charming with age, but so do some women. It's up to you what you want to become in the future. You can become charming when you want to and then you can develop your charm. It doesn't just happen to people — no matter what your gender is.
4. Your not embarrassed when you grow a moustache.
Ei hävetä, jos viikset kasvaa.
Maybe more women should be proud of their moustaches. Those huge bushy eyebrows are already in fashion, why won't we do the same with moustaches? Women do have hair in that area too, it's just often very fair. Some grow darker hair and then get it bleached or waxed. It's seen as a very embarrassing and taboo topic. I don't see a reason why it couldn't be seen as cute. We need to stop being embarrassed about our looks.
5. Barber costs less than a hairdresser, and you don't need to waste money on hairproducts anyway.
Parturi maksaa vähemmän kuin kampaaja, eikä rahaa tarvitse tuhlata hiustuotteisiin muutenkaan.
Do these women really think that men don't use hair styling products? I'm guessing that it's around the same percentage of men and women who do style their hair almost daily. I'm getting closer to some hippie-look with my hair and will just happily brush it. I don't even know what I would do with it. I tried to learn to straighten it, but then didn't see the point. It's naturally wavy, what's wrong with that?
I actually do find it unfair though, that men's haircuts are cheaper than women's. Even if it is exactly the same haircut. Why would your gender matter there? Shouldn't the hairstyle you want be the main factor deciding the price?
6. No need to blow-dry your hair in the mornings, style your hair or put make-up on
Ei tarvitse föönata tukkaa aamuisin ja väkertää hiuksia kampauksille, eikä meikata.
I've never felt a need to blow-dry my hair in the morning or make my life that difficult anyway. Everyone needs to get ready in the morning and what you need to do probably depends more on whether you're just popping to the corner shop or going to someone's wedding. It doesn't really have anything to do with your gender. There are many men who take longer than me straightening their hair and putting their make-up on than I do.
7. You can have children without streching your stomach or ripping your genitals.
Voi saada lapsia ilman, että vatsanahka leviää ja sukuelimet repeää.
Giving birth does have those aspects, yes. But it's not something all women have to do. Of course, some men are able to give birth as well. Adoption is a fair option available for everyone too though. But in general it is more difficult to have children as a single man than it is as a single woman.
8. Naturally smaller percentage of fat. No cellulite. Not fair.
Luonnostaan pienempi rasvaprosentti, ei selluliittiä. Ei ole reilua.
And none of those fantastic feminine shapes either.
9. Small phone bills. You don't have to waste time talking about nonsense.
Pienet puhelinlaskut. Omaa aikaa ei tarvitse tuhlata turhuuksista pälättämiseen.
Seriously? These women need to rethink their priorities. If you need to spend hours on phone talking about stupid things without enjoying it, it has nothing to do with gender. It's just your own stupidity.
10. Men can pee almost everywhere. It's also less embarrassing for men to go to the toilet.
Miehet voi pissiä melkein mihin tahansa. Vessassa käyminen ei muutenkaan aiheuta niin noloja tilanteita kuin naiselle.
What? Why is it embarrassing to go to the toilet if your a woman? And I think it shouldn't be acceptable to pee in public for men either. It's also possible for all genders to go and pee in a bush.
11. A man doesn't get upset or end up in pointless fights if he's not invited to a party or a shopping trip.
Mies ei loukkaannu tai joudu turhiin riitoihin, jos häntä ei ole kutsuttu juhliin tai shoppailemaan.
I think it would be upsetting to anyone to have everyone else invited except you.
12. Shopping doesn't take up much time.
Shoppailu sujuu nopeasti.
I think this depends more on the type of person you are. If you enjoy browsing shops it will take longer no matter what your gender is. And if you just want to go in and get what you need it will be faster. Unless you're me and shopping in Sainsbury's. Then it will take hours, but it's not because I'm a girl — it's because I don't know where anything I need is.
From Sex and the City.
13. You can wear comfortable shoes even in festive events.
Voi käyttää mukavia kenkiä juhlissakin.
I would never go to a party in uncomfortable shoes. Women don't have to wear high heels. I like high heels, but always prefer to wear comfortable high heels.
14. It's easy to get dressed to a party. Even to your own wedding a good quality suit is enough and you can wear that same suit to all the future festive events.
Juhlapukeutuminen on helppoa: omiin häihinkin riittää laadukas puku, jota voi pitää tulevissakin kekkereissä.
As far as I'm aware many women do dream of choosing their white dress, so I don't think that's something they are really jealous about. Also one good quality black dress will keep you covered to most festive events if you don't prefer to choose something different.
15. It's easier to make a career as a fighter pilot or a fireman.
Helpompaa toteuttaa haave vaikka urasta hävittäjälentäjänä tai palomiehenä.
I couldn't make a career as a fighter pilot because of my bad eye sight. I'm sure my brother would have the same problem. It is true that in the job market it is more difficult as a woman, but there's also a problem that many women don't pursue these careers.
16. Saving money! You don't have to spend money on menstrual pads or tampons. Or bras. Or make-up and other cosmetics.
Rahansäästö! Ei tarvitse laittaa rahaa kuukautissiteisiin ja tamponeihin. Eikä rintaliiveihin. Eikä meikkeihin ja muuhun kosmetiikkaan.
Lady, guess what? You don't have to spend money on any of those things either. I bought a £20 mooncup that will keep me sorted for the next 10 years on the menstrual front. I do like to buy bras though, because I like to feel supported. I've also spent most of my money that didn't go into food or rent on cosmetics, not because I felt I had to but because they made me happy. I'm starting to question my values on this and am planning on stopping buying so much.
17. Life without tights.
Elämä ilman sukkahousuja.
I can't imagine a life without tights. I don't wear trousers so tights are kind of necessary for me. I just wish they were cheaper and wouldn't break as easily. Women are allowed to wear trousers though if they don't like tights. It's unfortunately a bit socially questionable for men to wear tights today.
Robin Hood: Men in tighs is a very good film though, if you need some entertainment in your life.
18. You survive with fewer clothes when travelling.
Pärjää vähemmällä vaatemäärällä reissussa.
I have a funny feeling that if I went travelling with a guy, my clothes would take up less space. First, most guys boxers appear to take more space than my tops. And what I have seen of many men's packing skills, they have a lot of unnecessary space in their bags. When I was travelling with my brother, I had some things that didn't fit in my suitcase anymore, and asked him if I could put them into his bigger suitcase. He said that there was no space but that I was allowed to try anyway. And then I put a blanket, 3 jumpers and several pairs of shoes into his suitcase without any problems.
19. Men are likely to get an orgasm more easily.
Saa todennäköisesti helpommin orgasmin.
But apparently those orgasms are not as amazing as those fantastic female-orgasms you can read about.
20. Sports news. As a man you're more likely to be interested in sports and sports news are often well-covered amongst the most important news in the country. Also, if you're a male athlete you get to enjoy bigger audiences, reputation and pay, than as female athlete.
Urheilu-uutiset. Miehenä on naista todennäköisemmin kiinnostunut urheilusta, ja siitä kerrotaankin kattavasti joka päivä valtakunnan tärkeimpien uutisaiheiden joukossa. Lisäksi mikäli olet itse miesurheilija, saat nauttia paljon suuremmista katsojamääristä, maineesta ja palkkiorahoista kuin naisena.
The latter is true. But maybe sports news shouldn't be something to be jealous about. Not all men are interested in sports anyway.
21. As a man it's easier to carry your shopping bags and you're able to throw a ball further.
Miehenä jaksaaa kantaa kauppakassit ja heittää palloa pidemmälle.
Testosterone is great.
22. You can hold your drink better. And people have more tolerance for drunken men than drunken women.
Parempi viinapää. Eivätkä ihmiset katso kännistä miestä yhtä pahalla kuin viinanhuuruista naista.
It's to do with that body fat percentage thing. But I'm not sure about the social tolerance thing, because drunken idiot is a drunken idiot no matter what the gender is. Or what do you think?
23. You don't have to suffer with uncomfortable bras that are the wrong size.
Ei tarvitse kärsiä hiertävistä/vääränkokoisista rintaliiveistä.
24. You don't have to take the contraceptive pill.
Ei tarvitse syödä e-pillereitä.
No one has to. They are given to women as if they were candy or some miracle drug that everyone should take. It is not. It is one effective method of contraception but it's not the only option out there. It's also possible to make a male contraception pill but no one is going to fund that project because testing would take so long that it's not worth it for any pharmaceutical company to do that because the female contraceptive pill already exists. It was barely tested before they gave it to women — now there are more strict regulations in place.
I mentioned a little bit about my experiences with the pill in this post.
25. It's taken for granted that your last name will always remain the same.
On itsestäänselvyys, että sukunimi säilyy aina omana.
In many countries, including Finland, men can choose to take their wives last name when they get married. It's all optional, families are not forced to have the same last name.
26. Thicker skin that doesn't age as fast.
Paksumpi iho, joka ei ikäänny yhtä nopeasti.
I don't understand this argument. Surely the skin ages no matter how thick it is? Hormones do affect the skin, so often men do have thicker skin and women have softer skin. But women tend to make aging a huge deal and spend loads of money on different serums and creams that promise anti-aging properties. Maybe it's just another pressure on women needing to look perfect and young always, so it's something they want to feel jealous about? I don't think any of those women want to have a thicker skin though.
27. Army stories.
Armeijatarinat.
In Finland, it's compulsory for all men to take part in military service (or civil service, or go to prison). For women it is optional. I met one of my best friends, Jonna, in the army, when we had a one-weekend introductory camp there. We do still look back to those times and think about all the good memories, when having a fika. I can understand that men who have spent 6-12 months in the military service would do that to even a greater extent. But women, we have nothing to feel jealous about — we have an option to join the army!
28. You are able to order a giantic meal in a restaurant without needing to worry what your dinner partner will think about it.
Voit tilata ravintolassa hirmuiset jättiannokset eteesi ilman, että alat pohtia sitä miltä mässäilysi näyttää illalliskumppanisi silmissä.
If I'm hungry and I want to order something, I will not care what anyone else will think about it. Seriously.
29. A high number of sex partners is only a positive thing.
Seksikumppaneiden korkea määrä on vain positiivinen asia kanssaihmisten silmissä.
If you're a straight man and your mates think it's cool and you really care about that, then maybe? But maybe your future girlfriend won't find it any cooler than you would find it if she had the same number of sex partners.
30. Your voice has more auhtority.
Äänessä on enemmän auktoriteettia.
It's more up to your personality than your gender.
31. A man, who can't dance can be adorable, but a woman who can't dance is only embarrassing.
Mies, joka ei osaa tanssia, voi olla hellyyttävä näky, mutta huonosti tanssiva nainen on vain noloa.
Why are the women who made up this list so convinced that being a woman is embarrassing?
Personally, I only like to go to night clubs where everyone is happy to dance badly and "embarrassingly". It's only for fun! At many straight clubs the dance floor is only meant for people who are skilled dancers and if some one looks like Ross and Monica from The Friends it's only embarrassing. Lighten up people, have more fun! Being skilled at laughing at yourself and having fun will earn you more life time happiness points than laughing at other people will.
32. Apparently you dare to ask for a pay rise more easily.
Kuulemma kehtaa pyytää palkankorotusta helpommin.
You cannot really be jealous about something that you start with the word "apparently".
33. Men's clothes last longer: in the sense of quality and fashion. Miesten vaatteet kestävät paremmin aikaa sekä laatunsa että tyylinsä puolesta.
Maybe men only buy better quality clothes and prefer classic styles? As a woman you're just as allowed to buy good quality clothes that represent classic styles. 34. Men have balls: in their attitude and also literally. Miehissä on munaa: sekä asenteessa että ihan konkreettisesti.
Women can have balls too. In their attitude and also literally.
Any thoughts? Do you think other genders have it easier?
Remember my "...andthatswhoiam" -posts? They can be found under the tag being myself. I used them as a method of therapy, because I struggled with situations when I had to introduce myself or tell someone about myself. It clearly helped because I actually went to a job interview last Friday!
But I haven't actually shown you all the pictures that I chose from that website last autumn! So now I'm going to tell you a little bit more about myself.
I love travelling. I want to see everything. I feel like the best thing to spend your money on is to travel and see all the different places and meet people who come from different backgrounds than you do. It will widen your views and help you grow as a person. You will get memories that you'll never forget. It will help you become less materialistic and you'll start to appreciate your experiences more.
Travelling has probably always been my favourite thing to do. I'm from a small town, but it does have a travel agency. I used to go there and carry a copy of all of their brochures home. I loved looking at all the pictures and dreaming of all the places I could go to. Unfortunately, my mum's idea of travelling was to catch a ferry to Sweden, and to stay on it and head back home straight away, without even setting a foot on the ground. Once I was old enough to travel, I cached one of those ferries and went to see what Sweden really looked like.
I'm the exploring kind of traveller. I find it hard to just do what the tourist guide book tells me. I want to find out things myself. I might go to the tourist information to get a map, in case I get lost (which unsurprisingly happens quite a lot), but my favourite activity is to just wander around aimlessly in a new city. I've never been on a beach holiday, because I think I'd find it difficult to just lie there getting burned, when I could be exploring all the suspicious side alleys and getting to know some interesting local people.
Did I ever mention that I'm a big Doctor Who fan? How many TARDIS-themed things have you noticed on my blog? The whole concepts of being able to travel through space and time really fascinates me. There must be more out there. And there is a reason why I ended up with a degree in Archaeology. But I'm stuck in this time and our planet. Which really isn't that bad after all. Exciting things are happening in our time, with all the digitalisation and equality movements. Scary and awful things are happening too, and there are many places I don't even want to travel to at the moment thanks to their political situation. But there's still at least half a planet left which I could and would like to explore.
I strongly believe that understanding the language of the place you travel to helps you get more out of the trip. The more you understand the language the more you understand the culture. And vice versa. Travelling is also the key to learning languages. When you need to find a Burger King in Spain, you suddenly can understand those instructions in Spanish. Or at least I found my way to the Burger King. I also learned to pronounce it the Spanish way.
I've never been to Asia, but I've got really interested in Japanese, Korean and Chinese cultures recently. I thought that Japanese might be the easiest Asian language for me to learn first, so now I've started planning a trip to Japan. It will happen once I feel that I've learned enough Japanese to get the most out of that trip!
I have a funny feeling that the only reason why I've watched all of theLord of the Rings and the Hobbit films is the fact that they are shot in New Zealand. That's one place I would really love to travel to. Originally, I wanted to spend an exchange year there, but it never happened. It's the furthest place on Earth I could travel to, which probably makes it even more exciting.
I have lived in a couple of different countries. I've lived in England and Germany for a month, and in Finland and Scotland for years. All of those countries have a place that feels like a home to me. Sometimes I meet people in Scotland who hear that I'm a foreigner and ask me "so where's home?" They think it's a cunning way to phrase the question: "where are you from?", but I always find it a little bit insulting. Do they mean I'm not welcome here, and want me to go back where I came from? I don't want to go back. I want to find a place I belong. The question is also difficult, because I find Scotland to be my home just as much as Finland is. I'm from Finland but I live here now. And I'm not sure where I want to move next.
But okay, my home is in Europe. For now at least.
Finnish people don't make friends easily, which is kind of a problem. I have, however, met amazing people from all over the world. I wish I'd find it more natural to open up to people and actually make life-long friends and to stay in touch more.
I've always thought that the best cure for depression is to go travelling. I've never felt sad or depressed while travelling. Everything in this world is just too amazing, to feel depressed. Depression is like being stuck. If you don't realise that you're free to go and do anything, you will feel depressed. If you ever feel suicidal, just sell everything you own and use that money to go travelling. As far as possible, and you might find the reason to live again.
I love learning to get to know this planet. I want to explore my options before I decide where I want to settle down to. I feel that there's no point feeling miserable with my life, if I don't want to go and see how people live elsewhere. Maybe there's a place that is more suitable for me than the place where I'm now? And if not, there's nothing better than that feeling of coming back home. P.S. Here's a map of the places I've conquered so far.
It's fairly Western Europe centred so far, but I'm working on it.
I pinned these places on the TripAdvisor app on Facebook. And then I mangled it a little bit on Paint, because I hate the way Google Maps stretch the North. Unfortunately this app doesn't have all the places I've been to. I'm especially sad that North Rona is missing. But according to this app, I've visited 17 countries, which is 13% of the world. That sounds like a good start!
I honestly, don't know where I'm going next. But I like to keep my options open.
Did you hear that Scotland passed the Equal Marriage law yesterday?! Yay, now I can get married! Well, almost. Now I would just like Finland to follow this example.
Rainbow flag at our university's societies' building!
Okay, because I wasn't going to go wedding dress shopping right now, I thought I'd write a little rant about a completely different topic. Is this even going to be a rant? Aren't you supposed to be angry at someone when you have a rant? I don't feel angry. And I actually really hope I won't offend anyone. I just want to bring these things up, so that they could be discussed. But this is partly about how people seem to get very offended by everything these days. People find it natural to label everything. So I just wanted to share some of my thoughts about labels we have for different genders and sexual orientations.
I got inspired to write this post after I read tau's blog post (in Finnish). She wrote about how very few people know about her pansexuality, because she's in a relationship with a boy, and doesn't really see why she should come out to everyone she meets. She also points out that in order to even talk about her feelings or orientation, she needs to pick a box and stand in it.
And she chose pansexuality. This made me want to write about pansexuality.
Is pansexuality just the ultimate category for those who got tired of questioning and finally felt that they don't really mind what gender their partners represent? Or is it just a fancy word for bisexuality that some people use to confuse people? Is it a fashion trend?
It could be any of those things, but probably for most pansexuals it's not. It could be a conversation starter. If you ask about their sexual orientation, and they reply pansexual, then they've only told you that gender is not important to them when they are looking for a partner. But you still haven't got an answer to what kind of people they're interested in. But why do you need to have a label? Why can't people just be people? I used to label myself pansexual when it was less acceptable for me to just be gay. It was important to have a label, because people would keep asking questions. I'm still bitter that I had to fill a form to university where the options were:
Heterosexual
Bisexual
Lesbian
Gay man
Prefer not to say
Because back then I had a boyfriend, I felt that I couldn't really tick the lesbian box. I was kind of tempted to claim that I was a gay man just because I didn't see the point for separating "gay men" and "lesbians" when the other groups were grouped together and when there was a separate question for my gender next to it. And I didn't want to choose the last option, because I really preferred to tell them that I was LGBT since they were asking. In the end I answered "bisexual" although I felt that that label didn't really describe me. And later I realised how unfair it was for all the bisexuals that I would even call myself bisexual.
There's enough biphobia without me jumping around as a bad example.
"You can't like both genders, they'll all eventually just go back to men/women."
"Bisexuality is just a phase before they come out as gay."
I don't want to make it worse and just ticked the lesbian box the next time I had to fill the same form. It felt a lot better.
Maybe everyone who identifies as a pansexual has their own definition for the term?
So, moving house
happened. Life's looking a lot brighter now! About a week ago we packed our bags and moved to our new place. Instead of broken glass on the street and seagulls screaming outside that we had at the old place, we now see snails on the road outside our house and there are bunnies jumping around in our backyard.
Our fellow resident.
Moving house was really exciting. Unfortunately all of our stuff did not fit into a suitcase. We did a few trips with bags and suitcases, but last weekend I hired a van, so that we could move rest of our stuff. I miss driving. I would like to be able to drive more. Then I might get better at it and stop worrying about it so much. But having a car made moving a lot easier than shifting all of our stuff on a public transport. I'm not an expert house-mover, and I actually kind of hate moving. But it's probably because I have more stuff than I would like to. But I own too many things that I don't want to throw away. Having my own museum would be useful. All the things, I don't actively want to have in my life could go there. Like weird presents and old school books that might come in handy one day.
Waiting for a bus to take us home.
But now when the move is almost done, I like knowing exactly what I have. Some things have gone missing, but I've found things that I didn't know I had. I didn't know I had 10 toothbrushes or chopsticks! Okay, the chopsticks look kind of disposable and I have probably nicked them from a Chinese restaurant when I ended up using a fork and decided that I should really practise using chopsticks at home before I end up in an Asian restaurant the next time. I have since then realised that you can just stab the food with one stick and use the other to pretend that you are eating with them sophisticatedly.
Eating cereal is a lot easier than eating Asian food.
Since moving to the new place, a thought has occurred to me. I realised that some of my headaches and migraines might be caused by my sight. I went to see an optician, and my sight hasn't actually changed too much, but enough to get new glasses. So now I'm going to get new glasses too! My girlfriend thinks they look too hipster. But she's going to get glasses I won't like, so it's all even. That's what relationships are about - compromises and making sure all the feelings are mutual.
I have also been wondering about how I don't know when to come
out to people. When should I and when shouldn't I? Does anyone know? Because I am really not sure. Is it appropriate to tell strangers that I have a
girlfriend? For instance, when an optician asks about my week, is it acceptable to
talk about putting furniture together with my girlfriend? For some
reason, I feel that she might not want to hear about it – that she
might see it as something too private. But if it was a boyfriend I
was putting furniture together with, I maybe would not feel that it
would be too much information to the poor optician. But why should
homosexuality be more private than heterosexuality? And what about
when she's just assumed to be my friend? When, for instance, a
waiter asks me about “my friend's order”, should I tell them that
she's actually my girlfriend? Or would that be rude? Should I just
settle for people assuming that I'm out with a friend? I mean, girlfriend is still a
friend, right? This is
probably something that is not only a problem same-sex couples have.
– Or at least I hope that people don't assume anymore that when a
boy and a girl are seen together that they are automatically a
couple. But what do you think?
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